spacerspacercadeucus anim
margin space
margin space
Kundalini mailing list
space navbar Home
K. List FAQ
List Archives
Archive Search Kundalini FAQs
List Topics Experiences
Member Essays
Art Gallery
K. list Polls
Chat room
List Mystress
Related Lists
K Links
Link to Usblank
line break

Tales of Awakening

   These personal experiences are posted with the permission of the people involved. Reproduction for anything other than personal use is prohibited.

A Martial Arts Awakening

    When I read about the Awakening of others, I find many similarities in the life events that precede my ‘awakening’. However, it seems that ‘the event’ varies for each person. I am sharing my ‘event’ because it was associated with my starting a martial art, and it might be helpful to others that are on the same path.

In 2004 I decided to look into taking a martial art. I had lost a lot of weight the year before on a low carbohydrate diet, but had stalled. I needed to increase my metabolism, and build muscle. It seemed sensible to look into a martial art, as it would be supportive for my daughter who is in kempo, and was portable (not tied to a gym or machine). I looked around for something that would fit my budget (free), work the upper arms and fit my schedule. One thing led to another and I found someone who was willing to teach me how to use the staff (bo).

I took one lesson, borrowed a bo (that is a 6 ft staff), and went home to practice. After a couple of tries at home I felt stupid, old, and said to myself 'great...this is just more work'. I decided that this was not for me. But I had to bring this guy his stick back. I devised a plan to attend a second class, leave it there...and that would be that.

The second class was the first day of Spring. That morning I had a dream. In the dream, I am practicing. The bo starts to whirl faster and faster, and get lighter and lighter until it is hollow. I can't hold on to it and it pulls out of my hands and flies up into the sky. With the sun shining behind it, it looks like 4 bo crossed and the sun makes a circle around the middle making it look like 8 pie pieces. The bo stops, hanging in air. In my dream, I am aware that it is a connector for sky and earth, and a conduit for energy. Then it flies off. I follow it. It flies to a stand of white flowering trees and attaches to one branch. When I get there, I have to pull hard to get the bo off the tree branch. I get the distinct impression that it wants to return to the root of the tree, to its source. I pull the bo off the tree and when I look at it in my hands it has flowered. As I wake up, the bo says "naga".

The moment I woke up, it felt like a lightening bolt went through my forehead and out the back of my head. My ears were ringing, my stomach was churning, my hands and palms felt like they were on fire. When I looked at my itching palms, I noted veins throbbing. "Great, I have the flu" was my thought. I popped some aspirin and went to class anyway. I went through the motions of working out, and according to my plan handed over the stick. I was on my way out, with no intention of returning...when my teacher started doing something that I had never in my life seen before. (Much later I learned it was karate, traditional Goju-Ryu, and it was a kata called Sanchin.)

My mouth dropped open. I could not believe what I was seeing. I had no words, no concepts or framework to understand what I was seeing, but I was filled with a sense of ‘knowing’. I saw a column of white light, energy moving down through the top of his head, through his body, and down to the ground. I could see his breath and lungs working as an elevator moving this column of energy. I was aware of ‘seeing’ an event in multiple layers, as overlays. I saw the body as a human conduit for energy…as a connector for heaven and earth. I saw the physical aspect as well as the cosmology that was in the mind of the person that had created the kata. It was clearly moving metaphor. (Later, I learned that this ‘breathing’ kata is considered ‘the jewel’ of Goju and means “three battles….balancing mind, body and spirit.)

My feet were rooted. I could not move. I continued to watch as my teacher performed more kata. I was in a strange state of consciousness, with no ‘filters’ and no thoughts… everything I saw was totally new to me and I had no body of knowledge to understand it. As my teacher continued, I saw a supra-version of himself, or it looked like many versions of him, appear in the same spot doing the same kata. It was like that Hindu god Shiva dancing in the circle. I realized that I was looking at a Dance of Death. Then I saw Death and Life as the same thing at the same time. I saw all of time at the same time. I saw FLOW. At that point, as I watched my teacher, I became aware of the intent in all of the moves. It was as if I could see what was in the minds of all the dead, old karate masters when they created the katas. Then, my perception of consciousness expanded. I not only saw what was in their minds, I became aware of their presence. It was like I was in a vast room with a Mind that was a collective of other Minds. The individuals had lost their distinctness of personality, but I was aware of It/Them and they were aware of me!

All this just went in and in. I had no thought to question, it just all seemed natural. Then, in the middle of my forehead was the oddest sensation of ‘Knowing.” It expanded up and around my forehead. There was no emotion, no sensation. It was an unfolding sense of knowing, and it grew until there was only KNOWING; The understanding of myself as an individual dissolved until there was no Me, nothing but a vast, bright sense of Knowing.

The next thing I remember, I am standing outside, and I feel really….Good. I notice just how very bright the sun is, and how fresh the air. I decide that maybe I will stick around….and I totally forgot what happened. A mental fog descended on me. I could not function at home or at work. I would sit practically brain dead at work. I couldn’t get the dream out of my mind. I would wake up and open my eyes and the picture of the bo simply hanging in my mind. I could not get rid of it, I could not think of anything else. A ‘fever’ descended on me. My feet, palms and forehead itched and burned. My brain felt like it was being ‘rewired’, and I started reading at an intense speed anything that I could find on the martial arts (3-5 books A NIGHT). I started having leg spasms all night long. My libido was raging. Relations with my husband could not touch it. One day, I am sitting at work, for once concentrating on my computer, and I felt little invisible fingers on my lower back. Distracted, I thought "what is that?" At that moment, I got “zapped”. It felt like an electric shock from the bottom of my spine up to my midback.

At this point, I came to the realization that something was going on with me. Up till then, I was just ‘going with the flow’. But after the ‘snake bit’, so to speak, all the oddness of the past month became visible to me. The rest of the year was filled with a cascading awareness…of changes in consciousness and Worldview.

Thank you, “S” and “S” for helping me on my journey.

blank footer links
left rulespacerrule end
Kundalini by Sharon Webb.spacerblank Some caution is recommended when dealing with Kundalini.
Feel free to submit any questions you might have about what you read here to the K-list moderators, and/or the author (if given). Specify if you would like your message forwarded to the list.
All posts publically archived with the permission of the people involved.
Reproduction for anything other than personal use is prohibited.
Footer img by Sharon Webb. Cadeucus anim from
Design and graphics by the List Mystress, maintenance by Team K.