Michelle

   Date: Friday, 21-Jun-96 10:39 AM
Dear all,
My name is Michelle, and I am a visionary artist with a very spiritual nature. I joined this list because I believe that I experienced the kundalini energy at the beginning of my spiritual awakening, and continue to have it now, and might be able to shed some light on some others who are wondering the" why's and what's going on's". This is not to say that I have any answers for anyone - just examples of how it has changed my life.

About 2 years ago I started experiencing sudden "knowings" which were like a block of knowledge just dropped into my head, and it was always accompanied with a very high energy surge through my body, which I grew to absolutely LOVE. It felt like pure unconditional love, just coursing through my body, and settling in my heart and throat.

So great was this feeling that I almost always dissolved into tears afterwards. How could anything love me this much?? was my constant wondering. Over the next year I went through what I now see as an intense heavenly plan to open up and awaken me to heaven. It definitely started with what I thought was kundalini at the time - but I couldn't find anyone, or any books on the subject - so I guess it's still debatable. In the beginning I had intense energy washing over and through my body, which felt like extreme love, and I immediately associated it with an angel trying to get into me, and communicate with me. I saw the TV screen Melissa spoke of, and this developed into a real seeing. I can now see angels in any given situation, and auras, and energy shifts, grids etc. But I have never seen anything evil - only sensed that sort of thing.

For me this has all been very light, and loving - never has it felt bad - or threatening, although extremely intense. Also in the beginning I felt extremely confused about what was happening to me, and why. I now understand that it was a process and it was entirely up to me to continue, and to believe in it. The feelings of things pressing on my skin developed into seeing angels with hands on me comforting me - or sending healing, or actually cleansing me of very hurtful memories. They can reach into my subconsious and pull out things which I had long forgotten and bring them to light, so I can deal with it - and move on.

All these experiences are filled with the extreme kundalini energy. At times I have even asked them to stop because I felt that my body couldn't stand that high an infusion of energy, and love. :) And they always listen to me, and try to open me in the ways I will allow. Heaven has reminded me of many past lives and helped me to understand that this is why I am so talented in this lifetime - I am a sort of blending of all that I have been, and this is to be the climaxing lifetime :) It's the best so far, and I am truly happy in almost every sense of the word - still confused about this heavenly contact and what I'm supposed to do with it now.

I was given the vision of a beautiful angel which I now make out of porcelean. In the vision I was shown exactly what she was to look like, and what an entire collection was going to be like. I was shown how they were going to inspire people in masses, and that she would help people to find the place where we all speak to heaven in our own individual way.

I followed this vision as if it were a drug - this is how persistant heaven has been with me. It's almost as if they nagged and nagged at me - and constantly put the answers to the how's in my face, so I couldn't pass it up. I haven't been allowed to give up - because I did't know how to do something.

Heaven has always arranged it so that I find the pertinent information about how to do the next step. I am not an artist - and have never done any sort of sculpting before - but I am sure that I was an artist in many different lifetimes and also that I have been a wise woman and able to feel heaven and mother earth before. I particularly like feeling Mother Earth, when She's not telling me how much we've hurt her :( For the most part Mother Earth is loving, happy energy and easily accessible and easily felt. I am getting off the subject just a bit - but wanted you all to know a little about me.)

I am the mother of three, and lead an outwardly perfectly normal life. I don't have all the time in the world to explore these spiritual feelings, I run a daycare for about 45 hours a week, but I have found children to have the purest, and most joyful energies. Excepting for the fact that I can now feel people, and sense when things are about to happen - along with all the other odd phenomenons, I am a fairly happy and normal married woman.

The kundalini energy was what started it all - and I never believed it to be the negative energy which I had heard about, but never able to find any sort of information on. This was my reality, and I went through most of it all by myself - feeling rather insane, but knowing that this intense feeling was associated with something much bigger, than I couldn't even imagine.

When I was first being shocked awake I saw many things and felt many things. I needed to try to figure out something else besides the feeling within the experience - and there was always some little thing which I learned along with every kundalini experience. Whether it was seeing something while I closed my eyes and just allowed myself to float away with the intense loving feeling - or sensing a presence, and trying to speak to it in different parts of my consiousness.