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Tales of Awakening
These personal experiences are posted with the permission of the people involved. Reproduction for anything other than personal use is prohibited.
Jai
Hi all... I am not particularly lurking but somewhat overwhelmed
at the inital volume of mail, and with what I would reply. I have misplaced
the list of intro questions, but I'll try to give you a quick picture (which
seems quite impossible). I have been dealing with what I term Kundalini
for fifteen or so years. I can not summarise my infinite experience very
easily. Here are some qualifiers--at various times I have read lots of
books on the subject, most all on the shared transformation list and then
some. I have swam deeply for years in several forms of spiritual practice
all leaning toward the esoteric contemplative--Buddahist meditation, especially
Tibetan, Hindu bhakti yoga, and Christain devotion. I have had religious
experience and mystical phenomena in all these, trained with lots of different
apparent heanyweight teachers, gurus and then some (including a course
in miracles, shamaism, I'm a trained rebirther and a reiki person and an
artist of sorts and so on ad nauseum). This mostly all out of a natural
curiousity and a voracious habit of reading and leaning toward the esoteric.
I agree wholeheartedly with whoever pleaded for less religious dogma, however,
as I'll get to below. I also relate to those mired and exaltant in it.
I occasionally have tried some of the type of exercises you all mention
and had a few bodys sensations, heat, tingling, energy flows and such,but
my real K. experiences were fullblown, giantly large, dramatic and thouroughly
mind/body being altered. The only ongoing symptomology I encounter is full
body shaking, I am doing it now as I write and anytime I am in a charged
situation, and chronic fatigue/energy bursts and of course lots of random
psychic/healing phenomenae. I also have a very sensitive digestive system
that is a constant pain in the ass. I was born with scoliosis and have
been consciously straightening my spine for ten or more years. The shaking
comes from K flow that hits blockages, in this case my curved spine, I
currently believe. All beliefs, opinons and attitudes, as well as all body
manifestations change constantly as the flow manipulates my body and bieng,
so even writing about it is a bit suspect, as it's most about FLUX and
learning to live fully in it, a tricky task. I certainly feel the list
shakti as well. I had three full scale, documented Kundalini uprisings,
spaced about three years apart and brought on by the use of psychedleics,
though I have been swimming in the currents my whole life. I would hope
any of you folks prejudiced against the use of hallucinogenics would suspend
your disapproval and note that altering the mind/body through chemicals
(especially plant dervied ones) forms the backbone of most all of the world's
mystical tradition and evolutionary habit. My arousals were classic and
severe. I have worked since with many organizations, psychiatric, scientific
and alternative healing wise as a go between, either facilitating experience
for others in crisis or explaining phenoemene. Each break, I call them
breaks because my ordinary consciousness was in every way very thouroughly
suspended/superseded while the flows overtook everything, lasted approximately
three weeks. I went once two straight weeks with no sleep at all. It is
all very definately a physical process, one with it's own momentum and
charge, having only incidentally to do with any practice or spiritual hodgepodge
I was concurrently dipping into. I have never done an ongoing spiiritual
practice as perscribed anywhere, but I do have a very active spiritual
life. In all three cases I was institutionalized against my will, but very
well taken care of, I say this somewhat tougue in cheek....I can elaborate
on this and pacify or scare your socks off, as you wish. Fortunately I
had the education and support systems to have a context to put my experiences
in. While I did not seek a kundalini experience on any conscious level
(I figured it was too dangerous because of my back), I knew when my body
started going into serpent like convulsions and dances, and my neck and
head were snapping all about that it was probably kundalini. Many, many
forms of telekinesis, ESP, clairaudience and so forth have I experienced.
I tend to agree with folks who warn aginst getting to caugt up in these
manifestations, yet I have no control over any of it, so mosltly I just
sit back and try to enjoy whatever is happening. I have noticed while working
in kundalini oriented communities that the whole notion of it, not to mention
the experience, can lead to a very annoying Promethean egomania, and I
definetely caution against trying to override weaker parts of yourself
by trying to tap into what you think is some cosmic panacea and powerhouse.
Since the full arousal was always foisted on me by surprise, with little
conscious aid, I tend to be a bit suspcioius of people trying to devolp
it at all. In it's full form it is not something that this culture has
seen much of and as such can get really dicey really fast. I do know that
it is it's own evolutionary force, responsible for many cases of "Mental
Illness" (I've written and published a bit on this if anyone cares
to read, though I'm pretty disorganised right now) and that for me personalizing
it as mother nature at work, keeps me the most balanced about it all. I
love religious claptrap, but for me K force is so far beyond our currently
held group cosmology that not even our most esoteric, enlightened religious
teaching glimmers at it's magnitude. It is, pretty much, for me, the force
of evolution at work, and I feel honored, priveleged (not that it doesn't
touch far more people than it's name does) and humbled to get to watch
it close up. It's like watching a live volcano crater from a helicopter.
I keep it in the realm of the natural (I don't believe there is such thing
as supernatural, it's not even a logical construct to me) and I trust it's
divine, natural intelligence to guide me. I have been a bit verbose already,
so I guess I'll stop here, but I have a warehouse in my head, body and
heart on this topic. Thanks for all your posts, I enjoyed reading them.
Some caution is recommended when dealing with Kundalini. Feel free to submit any questions you might have about what you read here to the K-list moderators, and/or the author (if given). Specify if you would like your message forwarded to the list.
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