To: K-list
Recieved: 2004/12/23 21:46
Subject: [K-list] Drowning in God and Stuff/censoring
From: Diamondsutra
On 2004/12/23 21:46, Diamondsutra posted thus to the K-list:
Beloveds: Thanks for the feedback regarding my direct outspokeness or as
Osho would say "calling a spade a f-----g spade" (he would not use the dashes-
but why give my mouth another chance to get me in .....trouble?).
I see God everywhere these days...everywhere I am , everywhere I look. The
colours, the lights, the water spraying out of the shower head (all those
tiny little holes...), the blessedness of washing dishes and .....having so
much hot and cold water..so many.......appliances for God's sake!!! what a
blessed incarnation when in the rest of the world people ......
ahhh well. Yes God is moving in my life shutting doors, removing people
that I don't belong with, replacing them, like atoms dancing, with new
connections, new opportunities. I used to go, sometimes, the last sunday of
the month, to this little group of people, Course in Miracle people, who had
a very nice energy of oneness ( I don't know what else to call it..I can call
it union in communion--its what happens to me with enlightened masters--I go
all the way home; sometimes it happens so easily that methinks I am residing
there and what I find in enlightened ones is a reflection of my own
enlightenment. Yeah. Where you gonna find that, besides nature a little
bit?? So there was a TASTE of it with these people so I used to go there
sometimes.
I told them: I know nothing about Course in Miracles, I've never read any
of it and I don't want to read it or learn it. My sense is that truth is
truth and I come here for the union in communion (I've said this to them a
coupla times....in such a beautiful state of grace that I could hardly utter
few sensible words...with a big grin). They always say...truth is truth and
you are welcome. We are glad you are here.
Well, the last time I went, the last sunday in November I was open enough
to share something that was coming up in me (there's a sharing time)
regarding lonliness and missing the other. (I now know that all year I have
been dealing with craving and letting go of the attachment to....,stuff, one
thing after another) The K energy has been dissolving my crutches. this
particular sunday the love connection and missing "the other' was happening
very strongly so I spoke to it , shared it in the group.
Later during the week, the woman who hosts the group said to me on the
phone that some of the group members felt that the things I say hav e nothing
to do with the "truth" according to the course....
I said well I won't be back to that group. I had assumed that when i
shared, the very purpose of sharing was for people to comment afterwards if
something came up for them and why didn't those people say to me: " what
does what you just said have to do with the truth?" Where was the honesty?
The woman, bo, agreed and said yes, they should have done that, they
should have spoken to me directly and I should come back so we could talk
about it. I said I will nev er be back. I will not be in a group where
there is not enough honesty and love to speak to me directly. Where people
go behind my back and talk about me to each other!
I had a bit of indignant anger, which I later discovered covered hurt.
Now I see that God is allowing me no attachments at all. That I am to be in
this energy and go where it is taking me without "the group". That as the
attachments and addictions are being taken away, they are not to be replaced
with "buffers", "inadequate comforts of potlucking groups".
Well,this has turned out to be long, once again. Thank you Hillary for
the feedback regarding open unfiltered speech. It is true, if I don't belong
with certain people God will close that door.
This whole dance is bringing me deeper and deeper into acceptance. I am so
grateful that I am allowed the connection with this list.
blessings and utter open-hearted love, Deesutra
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