To: K-list
Recieved: 2004/12/12 17:14
Subject: RE: [K-list] more tulpas
From: Johnny
On 2004/12/12 17:14, Johnny posted thus to the K-list:
This notion of a tulpa reminds me of something that I thought of when I was
very young while I was around 7 or 8. What if the way we see the world both
with our general outlook on life and with our physical eyes was something
unique for each person. As if we were each living out our own personal plane
of existence, where objects to each person were of a different shape for
each of us.
Lets say I speak this to you in English, with words and symbols.. but when
you hear it and it crosses into your plane of reality the words come out
sounding totally different -- in your own sense of English. I hope this
makes sense to you.
What impact would this have? None, I suppose. To me, now, it means that I
can be writing to you in this language with these words and conveying the
message that I wanted to send, however to you it may come across as
something absolutely different. To you it comes as a barrage of things that
have special importance to you and only you.
In my world, I am a genious. I interpret everything I see with precision and
correctness. When I try and apply to this too the real world, it doesn't
come out as genious. Somewhere in the filters between our respective brains
the message got distorted.
Sometimes it feels like I walk out into public and people are talking to me,
about my brain, about the way things work in my brain. This is my lifelong
psychosis.
---
Thinking back to that idea that I had when I was a child I am amazed that it
rings true now. Another idea that came to me was is also startling to me. I
had the impression that the world was revovling around me but I didn't know
it at the time. That I was actually someone so different than everyone else
that no one would tell me. Like I was from a different planet and that
people weren't going to tell me until later. A giant conspiracy. A giant
double standard that I was going to live for the rest of my life. This is
scary, because it came up again a few months into my Kundalini awakening and
I had enough information to verify this strange notion, but for as long as I
live I could never ever mention what I had learned because it would be
catastrophic.
I hope that you can relate on some level!
Love and Blessings,
Johnny
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