To: K-list
Recieved: 2004/12/06 03:21
Subject: [K-list] Falling Away
From: Diamondsutra

  I'm noticing every thing falling away. That is to say I'm at rest, the
body in repose from around 8:30 til noon the next day. About 12 hours of
this is spent ina much welcome and relished sleep. The rest is timelessness
in the realm behind my eyes.

   When I "try" to participate in things I used to do,...ie. a christmas
craft fair across the road, or spending time having people over....it doesn't
work out. Something prevents my participation from happening and I feel
the "Will of God". When I wonder about this....and sometimes I do....but
then sometimes its is so right that I don't even wonder but am absorbed into
the naturalness and "rightness" of it...when I wonder about this ...comes up
the question---is this dying? Dying to the self "i" used to be?

  What is rising in the place where "activities" and "entertainment" used to
be is just a simple life. Walking in the neighborhood (which is mountain and
beach) hotspringing, doing household chores, shopping, etc....the "business
of living>>" Which is all done with joy and totality.

   I'm a bit snowed in now. It is wet and slushy, sloppy but the feel of
winter and isolation and aloneness pervades.

  Many women my age (I'm 60 now---people (young and old) think I'm around 45
ish and are shocked to hear my age) women around here, are very active and
busy and energetic. I do yoga and stretching and swimming at the hottubs and
feel very lithe and light and youthful (child like)and playful in the body
but I do wonder...is all that energy and activity that I see others living
in the world, is that energy in me going into the inner realm.?? Is it
requiring all my energy to go "in" where now apparently more and more, I am
residing?

   Comments are welcome and thank you for reading this.

   much love and blessings, Deesutra

   Comments

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