To: K-list
Recieved: 2004/11/06 22:16
Subject: [K-list] no inspiration to go up in the morning
From: Diamondsutra

Dear Gustaf:

  I would just like to send a bit of supportive energy and love your way. It
sounds very hard what is happening for you now and I trust that this too will
change and in a way that is more bearable for you.

  I'll just share that, since smoking and sleeping aids stopped for me, it
seems all I do is rest. I go to bed nearly every night at 8:30 and rest till
noon the next day. Surprisingly, this is very enjoyable and that might be
because I went so very long without natural sleep....all the year previous to
the above mentioned and recent changes. Its been about 40 days no smoking
and 40 days going to bed at 8:30 and arising at noon the following day.

  I'm not sleeping all this time....I'm listening quite often to tapes from
the enlightened masters I've been with. Mostly John DeRuiter since he is the
only one I've been with who is still living...and living near I might add, in
Edmonton, Alberta. Osho and Barry Long are both dead now. Often I don't
sleep till a coupla hours after going to bed and often awaken around 7:30 or
8:30 ish. But it just feels so right to remain in the nothingness of rest,
sometimes drifting off to sleep, sometimes just being in beingness.

    It might be the addictive one dying--well of course it is---all that
which is not true is dying---one by one and what is left --in my case is more
stillness with no agenda, more truth, and less "me" or "I".

  I do have also a coupla tapes by Carolyn Myss called Spiritual Madness
which I listened to over and over for about 2 years while I was going
through .....a really difficult combo of various symptoms--no get up and go
just one of the many. I don't know if that would help you right now, those
tapes, but I don't think they would hurt.

  I do find that the more I rest, the more "life" takes over and brings
things that need to be done or that it is clear I am "to do" and so when
those things come---like doing psychic readings, or going to town for massage
or acupuncture or paying bills or getting something in the car attended to,
etc---then of course I get up earlier to do them.

   Well, this rambled on a bit and I'm not sure if it helps, Gustaf. I have
really nothing to say about the feeling of being suffocated or closed in on
your left side as I have no experience with that. Something's cooking
though, it sounds like, and I trust it will become easier for you after its
done.

  much love and blessings, deesutra

DISCLAIMER!

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