To: K-list
Recieved: 2004/11/03 15:21
Subject: RE : [K-list] Experience - ????
From: Albert
On 2004/11/03 15:21, Albert posted thus to the K-list:
Dear Kate,
You wrote:
It has been 2.5 days since this happened. I continue to feel very
"blank". I am not depressed at all, I am just unaffected by anything.
Nothing holds any value. Time means nothing. I can't decide what to do
during the day because I feel like none of it really matters. I feel
like I could sit down and write a whole album of songs, just off of what
I "know", but it would be emotionally void. I have lost my sense of
emotional association with everything. I feel tired, but I am not sure
if it is truly tiredness or just ennui.
After being a very highy sensitive, empathetic, intense, aware person my
whole life, this is disorienting and feels wrong. Of course as I say
that, it means nothing to me. I just know it to be the case.
I have only become this disaffected after serious issues in my life, but
this does not carry with it the pain or anger associated with the choice
to be disaffected.
My answer: I would like to answer because your story reminds a true
story of a french friend living in Narbonne that now is a tantra master
and might give you some clues.
That friend of mine (he is around 45 years old) describes something
paroxystic that happened to him when 17 years old and after that, he was
like you. He would be totally unaffacted by even very difficult
situations or people or whatever. He was in a special kind of cloud
like protecting him from every emotions.
At some time, he thought that it was not normal to be like that, like
also laughing at difficult situations copes by other persons so he
gradually discovered Tibetan Budhims and TANTRA. At the end, he turned
out to be a great master of tantra in France.
Hope this help
Albert
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