To: K-list
Recieved: 2004/10/13 01:23
Subject: Re: [K-list] forgiveness
From: Lone Path
On 2004/10/13 01:23, Lone Path posted thus to the K-list:
Hi Janel,
Well, on a positive note, at least you are honest and courageous enough to say that you cannot forgive. There are many people that find it easy to say “I forgive you’ and yet they do not really forgive or feel forgiveness. I think you are very honourable to be honest enough to realise as well as to say that you cannot forgive.
Forgiveness cannot be learnt, it can only be felt. Who has told you that you should forgive anyway? Why do we constantly believe what we are told to do or to feel as gospel and the only way? I think it is because you feel, or have felt, forced to forgive or to believe that you should forgive in the past, for whatever reason, that makes it difficult for you to feel forgiveness. In any case, if someone wants forgiveness from you, are they not ‘expecting´ something from you, and don´t the teachings tell us not to expect anything. I know from my own experience that the day I decided not to expect anything from anybody any more, that that was the day that I was freed from all disappointment.
Indoctrination, education, morals, religion, parents, teachers, etc., call it what you will, tell us to do a lot of things but we are not dumb animals that have to believe everything that we are told, we are intelligent adults that can question these things that we have taken to be ‘right´ or ‘good´ in our childhood, in order to decide whether they are just and suitable.
I really don´t see the big deal in having to forgive anyone, although I can honestly say that I find it quite easy because I know of the mistakes that I have made and make in my life, and I have also been lucky enough never to have been forced as a child to forgive anyone that I didn´t want to. I can only suggest that you free your mind from the thought that you have to forgive anyone because this very thought is only creating and reinforcing the problem and causing you stress. My philosophy is that you should be as you are because it is only in being as you are that you can ever ‘see´ yourself properly and resolve the problems that you carry around. As long as you try to be something you are not, you will not only deceive yourself but others as well, and at the end of the day honesty is always the best choice as far as I am concerned.
I hope this helps you.
Best wishes and much Love,
Grotty
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