To: K-list
Recieved: 2004/10/13 01:11
Subject: RE: [K-list] forgiveness
From: Kate
On 2004/10/13 01:11, Kate posted thus to the K-list:
I read this book a while back:
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0446392596/qid=1097629259/sr=8
-2/ref=pd_csp_2/103-9568914-4073453?v=glance&s=books&n=507846
It is called Forgiveness : How to Make Peace With Your Past and Get on With
Your Life, and it is by Suzanne Simon and Dr. Sidney B. Simon.
The most important lesson that it taught me (and I had a LOT of forgiving to
do, I assure you) was that the person that you are angry with most of the
time does not think about what they did the way that you do: constantly and
with a lot of negative emotions. They maybe don't even remember the
situation, they may not remember it the way you do, they may not even care,
they may think you were the problem and not them. Thus, the only person
suffering for your difficulty to forgive is YOU. Forgiving is as much an act
taken on your own behalf as it is for the person who may or may not be
looking for your forgiveness.
I had a very rocky, abusive relationship with my mother as a kid, and this
helped me tremendously on the path to creating a new more balanced
interaction with her.
Good luck.
Kate
> I cannot forgive. I've tried. It sounds mean, but the words do
> not come out
> of my mouth. Everytime I try to say "I forgive you," the energy
> in my throat
> flares up and almost chokes me. It makes me feel a little guilty
> because I
> ask for forgiveness all the time, but I can't give it away myself. I know
> it's because there's this anger that blocks the empathy I need to
> relate to
> whoever is asking for my forgiveness. I know all this, but I just
> can't seem
> to DO anything about that.
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