To: K-list
Recieved: 2004/10/09 13:36
Subject: [K-list] Back and Forth-Letting Go
From: chelle lake
On 2004/10/09 13:36, chelle lake posted thus to the K-list:
i know what you are going through with the cigarettes,after the kundalini
i knew the message was that right now you have no addictions..
this moment is free so live each moment in that truth.
and remain forever un needing.
my ego persisted kicking and screaming,it knew then and there
that death will come and its just a matter of time.
so it tried its hardest to hang on,as does any entity on earth when faced
with termination.
i felt frozen neither here in my physical self nor else where connected.
my ego whispered go ahead and try it and you will break your own neck.
because you cannot do this.
i stopped for 4 months..i didnt like it anymore..i was a non smoker.
my ego said well why dont you drink now you need to relax.
trying to offer me something to replace the hole it was enjoying feeding off.
i said no.
i started smoking again after stress,and my ego saying come on your taking
it out on others just smoke instead and feel that stress dissapear.
i gave in,and i had to try hard to inhale and pretend i enjoyed the poison
until i was hooked on it and blinded again.
it will come around again,the place will be there when i will know i can do it
and i wont listen to the nattering mind.
but its keeping that momentum going isnt it..and seeing that the lies are insanity
makes me wake up to the truth and say be quiet be still.
theres something else to replace this addiction its the thing we keep running from
because we dont know if we can do it or what will happen when we arrive there.
finding ones purpose is often something people feel they need to close that hole within
that craves and wants,and i find helping others makes me help myself.
like myself enough to parent the ego and ignore it.
i also used to think one day i will wake up in motivation ready to face my
addictions.
there is no one day..i found that by pushing myself with something
although i am gritting my teeth to try and feeling completely
lathargic at first..it becomes active..my motivation wakes up
because my actions stir it to.
the ego will try to make you stop smoking or stop any addictions
all in one go,or at one sitting only.
that is often the trick it uses as that way is sometimes harder if
you find that way pressuring.
it took time to become a smoker and time to find stopping hard..
we sgould be gentle with ourselves and take time to stop.
dont be fooled by the ego' s haste..its a trap.
using self hypnosis is a good way in stages..and the ego nods off because
hypnosis bores it to sleep.
whoever we are no matter of our addictions grace finds us regardless.
i used to think i would be left out because of my impurities.
let it happen slowly and be kind to yourself..
when the ego speaks observe it and parent it..hand it reason
and all of its walls fall down..it cant survive truth,its born from
dissapointments and damage.
blessings,
may the lights apon your path be green and good to go,
Chelle.
ps)of course this is only my opinion,i know we all perceive things differently..and it is not atall aimed at over riding your own truth.
you know in yourself what is needed.truely.:)
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