To: K-list
Recieved: 2004/09/29 16:28
Subject: [K-list] re- fullmoon
From: alicia steffes
On 2004/09/29 16:28, alicia steffes posted thus to the K-list:
I always wanted the life of love , I always egged and begged god to tell me what was love really. Therein my days were filled with what ifs within moments of gratitude for what was. it was often in my young life mother of four by the time i was twenty three, that I wished for a better man or a different type of man. there was much lack that I saw or percieved. then he felt that and he acted from it. it is a sad story , my life, a reflection of tradegy today ................he was taken from me suddenly in a terrible car crash...............the children and I were left alone just as a few fantasies of mine had ensued. My point there were good days and there were bad ..................but I know there was love i know what love is now I know what he tried to tell me ............once you stop feeding the love it dwindles into the darkness of the souls nasty desires to know the opposites Oh lessons we must learn and as my husband would have said when
he was alive...... Oh the doors we open and cannot shut ................. and the grass is fine and green in your own yard tend to it and know it is enough .. One more thing today so I have had great anguish in the last years or so but also great joy ..............I learned to ride my bike more and paint when I felt the urge and write more I learned to look at life like it might be my last day i learned to appreciate waht every person contributes to life yet I learned to ignore the bad for it is temporary what lasts what is love yet it is the hardest of all. I enjoy reading all the messages on this board it is a true blessing to my life. I am a very reflective person these days especially after seeing the movie Notebook whoa Life isnt perfect is it but love and commitment to love is the most precious thing I think i will ever see or feel. I am sad cause I will nevr have that again. I think each love you have with a man takes a bit of
your innocence away. Then falling in love is possible because K teaches to be reborn to a new self capable of stronger presence and new found insights. But then it seems within this place of peace it is o.k. to be alone. Peace to all and happy autumn < alicia
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