To: K-list
Recieved: 2004/09/28 00:16
Subject: Re: [K-list] Full Moon?
From: marion hanvey
On 2004/09/28 00:16, marion hanvey posted thus to the K-list:
>Things just boiled over in my soul last night...
>
>I'm about as far down under as I've ever been I have long since gotten
>over allowing depression to take over my thoughts and body and
>yet...
>
>I see no way out of this. I just don't...nothing ever stays the same and
yet
>my life never changes.
>I've asked the universe to provide a way out for me...as it knows that I
>don't seem to have what
>it takes to leave this situation I've been in for so many years.
> It's killing me with loneliness to live with someone and yet not 'live'.
>The 'need' is gone...but I still have to have something for sustaining my
>inner desire for life.
>I've asked to be taken and allowed to die...since there doesn't seem to be
>another way out of it that I can actually provide in my own head at this
>time.
> I know there is a greater plan that I cannot see the whole picture, but
>I'm so tired of the patience game. How much patience does one have to learn
>?
>...maybe it is the full moon effects and then it will be peaceful again.
>
>But it's so ungodly quiet here inside me I wonder if I've been forgotten by
>even him.
>I've prayed I've pleaded, I've smudged, to no avail this morning...I've
>meditated.
>and yet no light comes to stay today.
>And then I read something that was written and sent awhile back
>" YOU can be no less than who you are... and that is how it should be...it
>hurts some times but here is so much beauty in who you are and you can't
>help but share it and shine it with all around. Thee is always both good
>and bad and in the end look back and find you lived it the way you could
and
>should and smile and be happy for there are things happenin in your life
>that you never dare dream about, tak the time to see the love ou share and
>be happy with the outcome for you are a very rare and special figt to the
>world be you and let the rest fall where it will (smile) just walk in and
>share your love and let it flow and let it be its is good."
>
>Who is interested in this light I have and to what end?
>
>Not sure I can do this anymore..
>Isn't surrender enough, or am I missing something?
Aw. Been there, done all of that. You are a wonderful person, otherwise
you wouldn't even be thinking that way.
Love. Much love to you.
Marion
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