To: K-list
Recieved: 2004/09/18 21:14
Subject: [K-list] sleep and pills
From: Diamondsutra
On 2004/09/18 21:14, Diamondsutra posted thus to the K-list:
For the past coupla days I asked existence to help me no longer need to take
this sleeping pill every night in order to sleep. And this morning I awoke
unusually early in a heightened state of awareness......and realized like a
bolt between the eyes that the body..this body..is physically addicted to
temazapam 15 mg. Duh.
I
Then fragments of information and behaviours all started fitting
together..like the night when I didn't take the pill and came NO where near
sleep all night and was so filled with anxiety, sleep related and otherwise
(ignorance has a way of making itself known when its getting close to
learning something) that I ended up in town (half hour away) very early
crying visibly as I went about town business and just.....in a state of
emotional.....well torrent really.
Now, I read the piece of paper that came with those pills months ago and it
says ...."you may experience trouble sleeping for one to two nights after
you stop taking this medicine." and things begin to click, click, click.
Others say withdrawal is severe and takes more than 2 days.
I now have no idea which part of my sleeplessness is kundalini related and
which part is just ....sigh...(loathe to say) drug addiction.
I spoke on the phone to the pharmacist and she says "if you stop all at
once its like walking off a cliff.. Stop gradually..reduce the dose or go on
something else that leaves your body more quickly. DON't WALK OFF THE CLIFF!
Yeah Right. The Pharmacist...my personal pusher.
I can't believe I've been so naive and ignorant as to take these things
for so long...long enough to get physically dependent without having a clue
that that was happening. When they said it could be habit forming I thought
that meant I would "want" to take them.
Sigh. So now...After talking to many people all morning--l-800 number for
alcohol and drug addition for God's sake's, among them, friends, etc.
I'm going cold turkey.......well...if the hell gets too bad I'll drink a
coupla heineken (which by the way my kundalini don't like...digestively
speaking) and get drunked to sleep.
I'm going to my daughter's house for support and trust that sometimes
within the next.......God knows how many days.....I'll sleep naturally.
I guess I'm sharing this because this k-list has become my biggest, and most
loving support. If anyone has any experience or insight on this subject and
you are moved to comment, please do. love, deesutra
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