To: K-list
Recieved: 2004/09/14 23:21
Subject: [K-list] (no subject)
From: Diamondsutra
On 2004/09/14 23:21, Diamondsutra posted thus to the K-list:
A head so aching it felt like it was about to blow off woke me up this
morning and I've been dealing with it all day. Some support would surely be
welcome if anyone out there has anything to say about this.
Yesterday I felt so even and good. I did quite a bit of stretching and
exercise, the first in a coupla weeks or so and since it has been raining a
lot here as summer changed to fall overnight I went for a walk up the
mountain, a bit strenuous. In between those two things I did a psychic
reading for a friend which took two hours.
I've been looking at all that trying to find the "why" of the head blowing
off---and then my oldest daughter calls and the love touches my heart and I
start blubbering and crying, which I've been doing for a few hours now and as
I do, the head ache gets less and I feel the energy pulsing in my head rather
than tight and horribly painful. So I see this is a case of more kundalini
release, which is my bleep bleep life.
I feel like a jelly baby puddle of "poor me" but I am watching it and not
identifying but watching this same old energy. Seems the release which
happens regularly with me (its happening now while I write this, tears and
sobs just flowing) always carries the same "underthread insight theme" if I
said that right.
something like (bear with me...its tough to share this..easier to just
watch it cry itself out and leave the blessed sense of well-being in its
wake..but maybe someone out there can relate or knows why...what...)
something like.. "o I'm so alone and winter's coming and I've got $20 to my
name and no one lives out here..i'm really vulnerable...and so tired...boo
hoo hoo. I need help, God..i really need someone to help me..."
that's as far as I can take it. since this kundalini I've not been able
to do any of the things I used to do for money and nothing is in my control.
I do psychic readings but not on the level that I used to do before this, ie
running weekend workshops, teaching inner alchemy, leading meditation groups
and body awareness etc.
Now I post a few flyers and run ads in the local alternative paper and
people come when God sends them, by Grace and there's nothing I can do about
it so the money thing is a place of total surrender. I live on disability
payments, because, for working in the world, kundalini has disabled me. my
doctor, a deep meditator has helped me get this 10 years ago.
I feel like this writing is longer than I mean for it to be and yet maybe
not long enough. I'll stop now. If anyone can relate, a bit of support
and/or insight would be welcome.
blessing, deesutra
DISCLAIMER!
Home | Archive Index | Search the archives | Subscribe
K. List FAQ | Kundalini FAQs | Signs and Symptoms | Awakening Experiences | K. list Polls | Member Essays | Meditations | List Topics | Art Gallery | Cybrary | Sitemap | Email the moderators.
symbol.