To: K-list
Recieved: 2004/09/01 00:06
Subject: [K-list] greetings
From: Heidi
On 2004/09/01 00:06, Heidi posted thus to the K-list:
Patrick,
I read your post and appreciate your raw frankness. It takes courage to be openly acknowledge ones flaws and I commend you for that.
As far as how to deal with your trauma. Know first off that it's not easy, but it is simple. And most importantly, you CAN let it ALL GO! The cycle can be stopped!
You can be free, my friend!
I may be able to offer some tips that were most helpful for me. Having survived an abusive childhood, I had trauma that I had to release and my heart, too felt deep pain.
My primary advice is....FACE IT, FACE IT, FACE IT.
I tried to reason myself out of facing those inner demons by being overly critical, perfectionistic and abusing substances to avoid them. I knew from early teenhood that something was wrong with me. I could feel it...in the pit of my stomach, eating away at my center.
One morning, I awoke from a nightmare and knew. Today is the day! I prayed and begged that I see the truth about what had happened to me. It was revealed to me, I watched it like a movie. I saw my father there, felt that sick shame that had haunted me all those years. I asked for compassion and saw him as a broken, hurting soul. I took the infant (myself) into my arms and bathed her in white light until her crying was silenced by relief. In my physical body the shame and pain disappeared. From that moment, that hole in my center has been healed. >From time to time, it seems negative energy tries to steer me into believing that I'm not good enough or not this enough or that enough. It is easy now to flick those thoughts away, much like a bug on my shoulder. "Lies." Flick. Okay, back to reality.
You Are the Power. Own it. You will continue running until you face this.
I once heard this acronym for fear and loved it. I do not know it's author, but I'd like to share it with you.
False
Evidence
Appearing
Real
Take care Patrick.
Love yourself.
Namaste'.
With Love,
Heidi
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