To: K-list
Recieved: 2004/08/25 21:31
Subject: [K-list] new to list - K and insomnia?
From: ******* *****
On 2004/08/25 21:31, ******* ***** posted thus to the K-list:
Hello Paul:
I can definitely relate to your situation. When my "Kundalini experience" began in l991, I was also tremendously dissapointed, outraged, sleepless, unable to continue my work or to support myself as well as too many physical "symptoms" to mention or list here.
Over the many years since then and now, I learned how to adapt the body and life-style to accommodate this tremendous energy--or else God in His great Wisdom had mercy on me and withdrew a bit. I don't really know...but my sense of it is...the old "self" and its way of doing things its ignorant "expectations" and willfullness had to die and that death was not pretty.
And the fire cooled down.
Then, I had a tantrik love relatedness last summer which re-awakened that fire and now...I am once again....sleepless.
I hear your crash and burn syndrome. Right now I am using chinese herbal medicines all day to bring me down more grounded in my energy. I sense I'm saying this in some ways, wrongly, but this is my attempt at putting words to what is happening for me.
It was accupuncture and chinese medicines and homeopaths and massages, and chiropractic and long soaks in the hot springs etc. etc. etc. that helped me and it took really 4 years for me to get settled in the new energy, even the tiniest bit and another 6 years to sense comfort in the body. It seemed that as soon as it started to settle I would get up to some "old" form of behaviour that would re-awaken it again.
This fire required my complete surrender in every aspect of my life. God's will be done in every place where it used to be my will.
Now for sleeping I am using the dreaded pharmaceuticals. I use a muscle relaxer called flexoril, combined with the chinese herbal medications all day long and a cup of tension tamer (which probably does nothing) just before bed. Plus I have to be still during the day and not talk too much and not see too many people or sometimes none at all.
It appears that each being has to come to terms with their own physical and their own particular needs. For me it is truly living on the "razor's edge".
I am so blessed in that I have a "kundalini doctor", a woman who recognized what was happening for me all those years ago and who is still my beloved friend and helper in this experience. She is a deep meditator as well as a M.D.
I trust some of this is helpful for you. This sleepnessness gives to meaning to the word "awakening" n'cest pas?
L:ove, deesutra
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