To: K-list
Recieved: 2004/08/21 07:34
Subject: [K-list] RE: K-list Digest, Vol 14, Issue 24
From: J.1 G.
On 2004/08/21 07:34, J.1 G. posted thus to the K-list:
i'm honestly starting to think love was something humans made up in their
heads. we created the thought of love and what love means to us. we
unintentially decide what all this stuff around us means to us-like a
judgement. but the judgement is positive sometimes. i think maybe i've been
lead to a place where i am taking more responsibility for how i look at
things to such a degree where it causes me confusion. you can choose to
appreciate anything. even the most painful situations.
recently my parents got a divorce, and all i could see was the positive side
of things. how they were making so many people in their life care, or how
they were realizing truth. understanding that their relationship was based
around financial stipulations ect.
in my life, freedom, truth, and a grounded understanding are the things that
are most apparently beautiful and necessity. or, rather, red, yellow and
blue seem to balance me. i experiance yellow as a femine-related to being
compleatly free. rather than the yellow of confidence. red and blue are
both masculine colors, in my worlds, red leaning more towards seeing where
things most honestly stand, and blue oriented with the god honest truth.
but are all of these things inside my head? and sure, people can agree with
them, but just cause someone thinks they understand, that doesn't make it
valid. love isn't real. people want love when they want comfort. love has
been an issiue for me, but maybe i simply havn't been strong enough.
in my current perspective (and all of these things are changing) i may see
myself as being strong, but if i were able to look at the average. i'd
actually be week, only experiancing my weekness in such a way that would
make me stronger. you can see this anytime. some people go through one
little thing and it screws up their whole day. some people have been through
so much, it made them cruble instead of making them stronger. life sticks
you every single way sometimes.
bah!! life is all a big ball of confusion. i can't help but be lost. i
wonder what is honestly real, and what is just how i look at things. and if
there is a difference. maybe i can see "truth" but maybe i'm only seeing
what i think or believe to be truth. bahhbah bahh bah
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