To: K-list
Recieved: 2004/08/18 19:45
Subject: [K-list] Spontaneous Awakening
From: Shawngrey333
On 2004/08/18 19:45, Shawngrey333 posted thus to the K-list:
This happened to me about a year a ago and bear with me as it's hard to
describe the experience in complete detail although it's still extremely vivid to
this day.
For about two to three months a spirit (angel?) had been comunicating with
me. I tried not to let it distract me from my daily activities but she would pop
up at the most random times. She had a voice that was like a soft whisper
that echoed for miles (very enchanting). I knew I could trust her just by the
sound of her voice and she seemed to have intentions with me by the things she
would say. Let's call her Betty because that's the name she told me was hers. I
could tell she was very powerful by the energy she would send me and very
telepathic because the things she would tell me would end up playing out in real
life. As all this stuff was happening she kinda started to trip me out causing
me to act somewhat neurotic in my comunication with people.
Before I get to the spontaneous awakening first I have to tell you what I
think led up to all of this... I had read a book by Robert Bruce entitled Astral
Dynamics (The MOST comprehensive book on the subject) which delt a lot with
energetic development. I decided to develop my energy by practicing activating
my sub-chakras (the ones of the hands feet and limbs) leading up to activating
my primary chakras with the appropriate colors. I did this for about an hour
each day for aproximately two years. I started becoming extremely sensitive to
the world around me and other peoples energies specifically. Well, after about
two years of this energetic development Betty came into my life.. Back to the
story.
I had insomnia one night. My mind was wide awake but I was totally relaxed. I
was lying in bed with my eyes closed listening to Betty speak for about three
hours (her voice would always build up an intensity in my body). The time was
about three in the morning. Out of nowhere this light started building up
right inside my third eye like I had never seen before. This light grew brighter
and brighter like no light of this earth. It was a pure white light. As it
filled the room (my eyes still closed), I began to see a figure emerge from
within the light. I imediately realized it was Betty. She was beautiful and flowing
with intense energy. I could tell she was very old and wise. She asked me if
I was ready so I told her I was (this may have been my mistake because I was
naive in thinking I could take on the world). She slowly reached for me and
touched me on my third eye. In the instant she touched me I felt this fluttering
that I would describe as thousands of butterflys within my entire body and
this energy expanded my very own energy literally a thousand times (imagine the
intensity). I felt huge and so amazingly powerful. She then told me to show
them how. I didn't understand what she meant at the time so I started talking
about compassion and respect for life. She then told me I did good. My spirit was
on a different plane of existance. My energy was flowing in a way not even
the most intense psychadelic experience could induce. Her energy, along with the
light, began to fade but the energy Betty ignited remained. I didn't sleep at
all that night. I felt like my spirit had been reborn within me. As morning
came I began to hear the birds chirping (this is when I started tripping out).
At first I thought about how beautiful the birds chirping was but they seemed
louder than the should've been. I assumed my senses were just more sensitive
because of the sustained increase in my body's energy. I started to get scared.
I felt TOO powerful. I eventually calmed myself down. My dad had scheduled to
pick me up from my house and take me to see some psycholigists over at UCLA
(remember I had been acting neurotic). My dad thought that I had been using
drugs as I had been exhibiting symptoms but I had been sober for over a year.
Anyway he came to pick me up and take me to his house for a little while before
going to see the "specialists". As we drove to his house I noticed something
strange. I still heard the birds chirping but I looked around and there weren't
any birds (i became confused). Was it in my mind? How is that possible? They
sounded too real. Everywhere I went I heard birds chirping. In the house, on
the road, and eventually in a UCLA building. When it was time for me to see the
psycho therapists I couldn't handle the energy. It was way too intense. My
physical mind began to lose grasp of what was going on and at the same time my
spiritual mind felt enlightened. It was a contrast in need of balance that I
couldn't overcome. They made me fill out a paper of psychoanalytic type
questions. They needed to determine if I needed hospitalization. Because of the
intensity of my energy and my loss of mental stability I knew that would be the best
thing for me.
There's so much more to this story i'd like to say but I really hope I'm not
boring you. To shorten it up, I went into the hospital for evaluation. It
wasn't a padded room. There were many people there all for differing reasons. I
spent a month there and they put me on medication. For the time I was there I
could see everyones auras extremely bright and vividly. I never told them about
my experince because I knew their rationality would consider it psychosis and
would never consider it spiritual. They never determined what my condition was
but suggested schizophrenia. Anyway, I went with the program and I'm still on
medication (a year and a half later) and their slowly taking me off of it. I
haven't had any psychotic episodes since I got out of the hospital and i've
come to grasp my new found sensitivity and what that experience implies as well
as Betty's intentions. I stopped doing energy work because I new that could
trigger another psychotic episode. But there's one thing from the experience
that hasn't changed. After she touched my third eye it filled with an intense
energy and difinitive pressure never left. I feel this pressure and energy of my
third eye 24 hours a day and this has been going on since the experince over a
year and a half ago. Sometimes I get visions and hear astral music/phenomenon
but mostly I tune it out, at least until i'm ready to use my power
(kundalini?). I know I wasn't ready for the experince, who knows maybe I was and I just
didn't know it although I thought I did, but I wouldn't replace the experince
for anything in the world. It has made me a more aware human being, of course
after I came to grasp the significance and got used to the energy.
Well, that's my story (part of it anyway). Maybe you have opinions of it? If
so, i'd love to hear them. For now, peace, love, and light.
~~~Shawn Grey
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