To: K-list
Recieved: 2004/08/15 09:39
Subject: [K-list] RE:(eh degests & loving thyself)
From: J.1 G.
On 2004/08/15 09:39, J.1 G. posted thus to the K-list:
>
>Perhaps liking is in partially accepting myself, and loving is
>unconditionally loving myself which means full acceptance. I feel i've
>reached a brick wall, and I need someone to throw a rope of consciousness
>so
>
>I can continue.
>
>Who accepts themselves totally ? Who loves themselves unconditionally ?
>How did you achieve total acceptance of yourself.
>
>
eh, just give your self love, understand it how every you'd like to, or just
do it. just love, dont ask questions, love everything, love the corners of
your lips as you speak, love the feeling of your eyebrows. or love your
personality, or anything you like. what is love?? energy? a kind of
connection between something?? is love real? or is love a silly thing
humans made up, inside their heads, cause they were bored??
i like to rub my body with love, or acceptance. creating this energy around
is good enough. loving your self would mean you'd be having love and holding
it in your energy, it'd come out in your personality, and in your additude.
one thing i find, its easier to love someone who have love around them
already.
i like to try and create new things. like putting a kind of "love for all
energy" around me. sending out the message of love in every great and
positive way i couldn't even try to imagine, or rather, maybe what i mean
is, the love i like to create around me, i see as giving not just to me, but
to everyone, everything in every way where it would be right for love be-so
where it goes, say ito perception, or maybe awareness isn't so much in my
control, i trust the energy. ...weird to relate if you dont already
understand...i guess i ask for good creative ways to be honestly helpfull
sometimes. and then i drown??! anyway, never mind ;DD
>
>
>
>No disrespect to anyone here but this question of people not loving
>themselves has puzzled me for years and I still wonder today how that can
>be because we do everything for ourselves don´t we; we make sure we get
>what we want, we make sure we only give when we want to or what we want to
>give, we make sure that we are comfortable, we make sure that we don´t feel
>pain, we do everything to give ourselves pleasure and happiness, everything
>we do is for ‘me´ – so how can we not love ‘me´? As far as I am concerned,
>we all love ‘me´ so much so that it can even be detrimental to others
>because we tend to put ourselves first unless it suits us to put the ‘me´
>second, no? Is this not self-love, and love in abundance? Is this not
>separation from others rather than separation from oneself? I may want to
>be slimmer, more beautiful, more this or that, but does that really deter
>me from loving ‘me´? I wonder. Is acceptance love? And don´t we still
>love ourselves even if we don´t accept
> various parts of ‘me´?
>
>
>
>Have you ever thought about this? Every time I hear someone say I have to
>learn to love myself, I really fail to see that they don´t to be quite
>honest.
>
>
>
>Also, there is the fact of the desire to want to love ourselves – is that
>not self-love also, to want the very best for ourselves, to give to
>ourselves in abundance? Why would you want to love yourself unless you
>already did?
>
>
>
>Perhaps I am wrong, perhaps I am still confused, but I really can´t see it,
>all I can see is that we all love ourselves over and above everyone and
>this is expressed by the ego. Perhaps you are talking about a different
>type of love, what I call ‘Love´, but this type of ‘Love´ does not need to
>‘Love´ itself, it ‘Loves´ Itself which is everything and everyone without
>the wanting or the need to accept.
>
>
>
>Please do feel free to explain so that I can understand why you, or anyone
>else for that matter, feels that they don´t love themselves, or not enough
>at least.
>
>
>
>Best wishes and much Love,
>
>Grotweed
>
>
i dont love myself. not really. i drink too much, i get addicted to things,
i go crazy get obsessive, i get off on insainly sad emotional chaos.
sometimes i like to smoke so much my throat hurts, and my chest slightly
feels heavy. i fall too hard, i close myself up and cant cry, i cant feel my
soul, i dont eat right, i dont believe two people can honestly fall in love
unless they are quite close to enlightenment, i like to dive into blackness,
be swallowed up in the color.
what do you mean by love??
all these terrible things i can do to myself, and enjoy them. i get
something out of it. true love would be a little more healthy you'd think??
but it wouldn't be as exciting. not that i would want to hurt anyone else of
corse.
honestly, if we really loved our selves,and others wouldn't we realize what
we do to our selves? wouldn't we realize that most people are in a state
mixed with at least some amount of fear, and confusion, too much stress,
ect? and why dont we do anything about that?? i guess you could say i come
from a dark background, and it might not seem the norm to you, but theres a
lot more people doing heroine than you think. tons of adulters, rapists, all
kinds of mean people. and often enough, most people who are absolutly
harmless, are too afraid to accept the more fucked up parts of them
selves--at least in the wolrd i live in. few people in my life are truly
beautiful, few people really care about anything but them selves. my parents
never learned how to really care neither did their family.
if we really loved we'd take more responsibility. i just dont think we're
there yet. we're all split in half. you experiance pain so you'll get sad.
you get sad and you connect to your emotional body, you make this connect
though your blue chakra, the color blue is related to realization. you fall
down cause you weren't paying attention, your body is bruised and because of
that, you are now more aware. or you'll soze out watching t.v. when you're
little and naturally start to scratch your balls-eventually you learn to
masturbate,, and as you write this you realize that one person sees
testicals as being hairy, sweaty nasty things, and to mention them might
offend someone, and someone else might think its kind of funny to mention
balls in a spiritual context, and someone sexually enlightened might realize
the testicals as the whole reason for their being. love just does
something for us. hate does another. its simple.
a few years ago my mind was wiped out, lightening struck down, hard. i was
cleaned out A.S.A.P. for a wile i was mentally gone, totally. i'm still
messed up, but nevermind. so you cross the void, and you pop out somewhere
else. everything changes. you met a girl and you fall in love with the
world. you sore to emotional potiential and you experiance states of
enlightenment, innosence. suddenly, everything changes, you fall into the
depts of the ocean, you go crazy falling so much. on your way down, you
can't sleep, not much anyway, and you learn that in the morning is the best
time to see truth. apparently something in the colors of a sunrize, loving
those shades of blue lead you to spiritual truth. -i should say, loving
those colors connects you to those colors, esp. when yer all sleep deprived.
...like at a party and everyone has really positive looking cups? and that
effects your mood, and in turn how you see things?? well, loving the shades
of sun rise effects you by way of understanding, and can lead you to truth.
(how i got there anyway) i had the pleasure of realizing that most people
in this life dont really love. they dont know how to. they love to some
degree, or they love what they think you are, and not really you in your
being, or they love you and leave you, or they love they things you give
them, or they love to avoid you.. most people have too much shit they have
to get through in ordered to really love anything..but yes, people do love.
and yes they do create the energy of love around them some times, and yes,
its better to love someone superficially than to hate someone, at least
theres some kind of love being shared, even if it's not really in the right
place... i had to get over love. its not going to happen, not the way i'd
like it to. in that way i have to compleatly love myself. i have to give my
body love, i have to notive positive feelings-like the way water feels, and
i have to appreciate the shadows of a desk lamp. yes, in america love isn't
true, or real, or where it should really be, for the most part at least.
if we really loved each other, and our selves, we'd know when to let someone
go, and when we should leave. we'd care mroe about the planet. we'd stop
trying to control things, we'd cry more, sleep better at night. we wouldn't
blaime our selves, or try to deny even the saddest of our sexual fantasys,
but we'd be sure to never create them, at least not the ones that hurt out
selves or others. if we honestly loved, we'd be more motived, watch less
t.v., we'd understand eachother more, we'd get closer to our selves, we'd
play more, we'd sing sometimes for no reason without being looked at as if
we were insane, we'd know how to be a good friend, honestly know, we'd be
more aware just 'cause love tends to connect us more to our hearts, aka our
spiritual bodies.
what is love?? what does the earth really need right now? seems like it
would be easier for humans to destory everything and them selves than it
would be to try to even attempt to make things right here. so what should we
honestly do??
'corse this all comes from a perspective most would call more negative than
most. but i care enough about myself to not get too close to the part of me
that really wants love to be a part of my life. honest love is a dream, or a
movie. and maybe i've just been trained to look at life that way, but thats
how things so apparently are to me.
anyway, i should go, :/
-jason
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