To: K-list
Recieved: 2004/08/09 21:40
Subject: [K-list] Massage, Clearing, Allergies
From: Diamondsutra
On 2004/08/09 21:40, Diamondsutra posted thus to the K-list:
Hello Every Blessed One:
I've just had a deep tissue massage, after not having one for a few months.
I was shocked to find how tight, locked up and rigid my body was. Yes it is
true I had done some things I knew my body did not want to do and using that
electric mower to cut grass regularly, over half acre, was the biggest.
I had found that it was very difficult to access the "inner" in my
meditations due to all this tension and the more tight I got, the more
insecure and fearful I became.
This awareness comes in hindsight. During the process, I was just crazy.
After the massage, which was 3 days ago, I have had days of release as the
tension leaves my body. It releases through crying, and so much crying that
the crying turns to laughing and the whole thing becomes a kind of rocking
laughing and crying seizure, to which I am entired unattached. I'm so
grateful the tension is leaving and so in the process that I'm utterly amazed
to find the beautiful pulsing of nothingness grow deeper and deeper after
each bout of release.
I'm using vipassana to enter nothingness again. And the re-entrey is so
very tender and sweet. I'm also using tonglen, another Buddhist technique
and maitri as well as doing mucho stretching. The re-entry into my body is a
blessed thing. And now, dancing is arising.
I'm seeing that the more I put my attention where I know it belongs, into
nothingness, watching the breath, using the techniques, the sadhana that has
become my life for the past 30 years, the more beautiful the uncut grass
looks. The lovely yellow flowers blossoming all over --what kinds of weeds
those are I don't know--are exquisite.
During the massage, tons of mucous, phlem, crying all came out. It always
does. I know tension as phlem and phlem as tension.
The more I meditate, the more I live in nothingness, the more my whole
body becomes heart, the more sensitive i am to every thing. Certain food
stuffs, wheat, dairy, fumes from traffic, noises ( I am blessed to live in a
very rural and quiet place, but even here existences manages to provide me
with unexpected and short term noises), people and their pains.
I have heard it said--"If you're looking for pain relief, awakening is not
the way"- by John DeRuiter, an enlightened man we are blessed here in B.C.
to have living in the next province east, Alberta.
And for me that saying proves more and more true. The more sensitive I
become to the exquisite privilege of being able to spend my life in
meditation and "strolling thru the garden" as it were, the more sensitive I
become to pain and to pollutants.
Well, this rambled on and on and is really my endeavor to say hello to
everyone and send blessings.
deesutra
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