To: K-list
Recieved: 2004/07/29 22:09
Subject: RE: [K-list] angulimala
From: Gina Zoran
On 2004/07/29 22:09, Gina Zoran posted thus to the K-list:
Things are pretty fine right now. I stayed in the hospital for five weeks
and I returned yesterday. I am pretty much back to normal (I DO have a
problem with that word, normal, 'what is normal').
The diagnosis was mania without psychoses. I did have visions but apparently
I didn't tell them.
I am grateful for the reactions I got about my cry in the dark. In the dark,
because I haven't been on this list for long and I didn't feel I know
anybody on the list. The last two weeks in the hospital I was able to read
my mail and I saw that some of you put me in their prayer.
I have been hospitalised five times for mania and/or psychoses. The first
time I totally experienced as a Kundalini awakening. I didn't know much
about what that was, I felt tremendous energy rising up my spine, with a
read colour and a lot of heat. I also had visions. But as soon as I talked
about it things got very tensed. I was in a meditation center at that time,
the Humaniversity in Egmond (The Netherlands). I was very angry to hear that
the groupleaders, and my family too, thought I had a psychosis. But, after
some weeks of little sleep and food, I was exhausted and had no place to
rest so I went to the mental hospital by myself. I went voluntarily, and so
I did every time. Even though it wasn't my own choise. I did it to stop
things from going worse, also to get a proper diagnosis.
This is a short introduction, there is much more to say but this enough for
now. In a way, I want to go on talking and writing. But also, words can only
say so much. I am happy. I had a very hard time after my first episode, I
sank in a deep depression. But when that hard time had passed, I turned out
to be happier than before. And I am still. And to be home now, after the
hospitalisation, makes me grateful.
I had a hard time, but it has passed. I didn't hide (for neighbours, family,
friends, you and my other mailing lists). For me this was the first time I
let everybody know what was going on. I threw out my shame and stepped out
of the closet. And I am so grateful for that. I am so grateful to hear you
respond, from human to human (seen in the context of patient versus doctor
or 'normal human being' versus 'lunatic').
Thank you all that this is possible.
Love, Gina Zoran (I choose to use this name and not my own name even though
I wrote that in another mail)
-------Original Message-------
Van: Ranbir Singh
Datum: 07/28/04 17:54:42
Aan: 'Gina Zoran'
Onderwerp: RE: [K-list] angulimala
Just going through my old emails, hows everything going?
>>
am in a hurry have to go to mental hospital
boyfriend, mother and sister
force me. I tell everyone so i get out save (Sting:
I send an sos to the
world)
SO sorry to disturb you peace, well that is if you
have it! <<
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