To: K-list
Recieved: 2004/07/15 17:48
Subject: [K-list] Re: Personal energy
From: Shadow121
On 2004/07/15 17:48, Shadow121 posted thus to the K-list:
Hey Alecia from Michigan,
when i read your email , i cannot express how it made me feel. to know that
there is someone out there who is going through a similar thing. My story ,
abbreviated of course, is that around the year 2000 my body began to tingle and
me and my friends got into the whole "matter, energy , wavelengths , reality,
aliens, drugs, fantasy life" stuff.
long story short , now its 4 years later and none of them are interested or
even mention any of this stuff that was almost crucial to our friendships. so ,
as it goes , i have nothing to talk to them about. in some ways , i'm so
engulfed by my kundalini, that its tough to find something else to discuss and yet
again, kundalini should not be the only thing i am interested in. ie -- how
will i find a girl with K being on my mind all the time.
below i have cut out exceprts from your email and responded to them. i am
curiouse about what you've been through and what kinda stuff you are asking your
friends (or yourself) if you remember. i know that over these 4 years there
have been so many telepathic instances, spirit stuff, research, dreams , and
what seemed to be endless converstaion about all of this. much of it was
connected to my friends though and i know that in truth, when my energy is self
sustained , the future can begin for me.
===
<<<now I say to my friends oh remeber when I was telling you about these
jolts and
<<<surges and the power going out and this and that and ya know what my
froiends have
<<<said oh now I dont remeber you talking about that..........
i have experienced a similar thing and now have only found 1 or 2 friends who
will get into it. much of it , i believe is because my search for whatever i
am searching for , might be due to paininside. so discussing 'ascenion' with
them is sorta off base. they think i'm crazy and it upsets my energy fields.
much of the adventure that began around the year 2000 involved dependancy on
these friends and that's why i think it is such an issue with me. without my
thing , what am i , ya know?
also, i have realized my attatchments to these friends takes away from my
energy. they are different now and so am i , therfore , when i try to be like
them, i am pretending to be something i am not.
<<<they just dont connect or they move into a lighterer less deep subject
it is driving me nuts
i have found a habit of mine is to bring up a subject like "concentric
circles and how i have been meditating on them recently" and then when there is no
response , i bring up a something like "ya think its going to rain?" and it
goes by just like the wind. the reality knowing that i worry endlessly about what
will become of me and what i should do about the reality of my friendships.
at this point they feel like "pretendships". if i am a ship, they were my
crew. now i steer my ship through stress and life and confusion alone. there's
something dignifying about that.
<<<I am reevaulating the friendships I have and why i have them and what
has been my
<<
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