To: K-list
Recieved: 2004/07/13 00:12
Subject: [K-list] general things...
From: Shadow121
On 2004/07/13 00:12, Shadow121 posted thus to the K-list:
OK. this has been bothering me for a while. if yall have opinions on any of
these things, i'd be more than happy to hear them.
1-- "being unconsciencly manipulative" (motivated by the same that searches
for inner truth?)
2--"hearing voices" (how do i stop them OR what do they mean)
3--"power over women" (how to maintain personal balance and have a girlfriend)
4--"thinking i am creepy" (being afraid and alienated and feeling like an
outkast)
5--" thinking i am a good kid" (knowing i never had bad intentions and seeing
where my perspective of society has taken me , done to me)
6--"organizing thought , instead of living" (all of this theory and no
practice)
=====the rest of this occured to me while reading the Klist digest for
today...
Happiness depending on other people is a difficult one for me.
I think that much of it is related to what has occured in the past.
attatchments that were special somehow mix with unspecial
and regrets stick out like a sore thumb.
working and livign in a group is something i am far from because of
attatchments to teenanxst,self alienation, sexual repression , and dependancy issues.
spirituality and reality are a difficult issue for me for many reasons.
finding what i agree with on issues that have NO ANSWER leave me open ended.
as a male in this society , being flitty about issues is not confident and
unmasculin.
as for my tingling kundalini, it alienates me and i wonder if it is
selfcreated.
after having many people leave my life, i realized many things.
life goes in many ways and no metaphore will heal that.
much of me wonders what this K awakening will do to me.
maybe it is a wake up call to be real and not question reality.
there is so much information that there is no such thing as truth.
and when looking at truthS it is as though there are so many.
so many that nothing seems relevant.
======
i hope that i didnt ramble and you enjoyed that , hope to hear from you all
ALSO , how about that "master key thing" , that's where its at.
YADA YADA OF THE DAY:
aligning my 3 bodies and using the master lock to keep control may help.
much love--Patrick
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