To: K-list
Recieved: 2004/06/26 00:07
Subject: Re: [K-list] re: The Four Agreements
From: Lone Path
On 2004/06/26 00:07, Lone Path posted thus to the K-list:
Hi Hillary, and everyone,
You say,
“"Don't take anything personally" is extremely empowering advice!
Our expectations can cause us immense trouble.
When we concentrate on those things that give us pain they often end up following us biting at our heels. I keep telling my friend he will be taken advantage of forever until he stops paying attention to it. It's amazing how easy it is to misinterpret people's intentions, choosing to see them in light of our weaknesses. It's in part why we often receive what we expect!’
How true, so so true. It is a question of disidentifying ourselves from whatever is said about us, thought about us, or happens to us. It is because we ‘associate´ and identify with everything that we feel pain. In fact, as long as I continue to identify and associate myself with circumstances, I can even say that the pain I feel can only be self-inflicted and that I can never ever blame anyone else, it is a matter of choice!
When I felt pain at what was said about me, what was implied about me, what I interpreted as negative about me, I started asking myself, “Why should this be so important to me; why should it hurt me so much?’ The answer lay in ‘expectation´ – expectation of love and acceptance. I also noticed that what I said or did in life was so that I would receive what I expected, be it material things, respect, love, etc., and I also found out that as soon as I didn´t do what pleased others that they would let me down like an old worthless piece of garbage! And then I thought to myself that if I always did what others wanted, what they expected, that I would always be living in the fear of losing them, an insecurity of disappointing them and being rejected by them; I therefore knew that I could never rely on them being a ‘true´ friend or giving me ‘true´ love and so I stopped expecting and dared to live the ‘me´ that I was. At least if I stopped pleasing others in order to be rewarded and I
lived the ‘me´ that I really was, then I would be more or less sure that the friendship and love that I received would be genuine and lasting, and any mistakes that I made and dared to make I could learn from and improve accordingly.
Along with dropping the ‘expectation´ and the ‘association´, I continued to work on self-discovery and one day the mystical experiences of ‘disidentification´ started happening, it was like a Divine Gift, a reward for my hard work. It started when I looked at myself in a mirror, I saw a form which was supposedly me and which I recognised but I could no longer identify myself with it, the ‘me´ that I always seemed to ‘possess´ and ‘held onto´ for so long, started disappearing, I became what most might describe as ‘indifferent´, cold even, or as I would describe ‘impartial´. Slowly but surely, it no longer mattered to me whether I was liked or disliked, loved or hated, accepted or not accepted, and it gave me a certain freedom to say the least, it was like being given total independence and freedom of an ATI' that had enslaved me by its concepts and desires for so long. I will explain this further so you understand more clearly.
The thinking mind, or ego, is the personal sense of doership that results from identification with the ATI' concept, its primary goal is to survive. For this, it clings to concepts, it wishes things were different and it resists the functioning of Totality. It judges all other conceptual objects according to whether they will enhance its own sense of completeness and worth or whether they are threats to it. Threats to the ego are seen as sources of hate, guilt, fear, envy, and jealousy, while completion objects are seen as sources of desire, worship, and adulation. The judging that is the source of all of these emotions is a result of identification with the ATI' concept; when disidentification occurs, judging and its emotions disappear.
Prior to disidentification, the thinking mind and its preoccupations can easily dominate the mind and prevent it from accomplishing its tasks, or at least obstruct it or alter the natural priorities of the tasks that the mind must do. The thinking mind is abstract thought, it is thought that maintains the illusion of separation by living in the past or the future, neither of which exist.
The part of the mind that is task-oriented is the working mind, it is natural or creative thought. This part of the mind still continues after disidentification because it is necessary for the continued functioning of the organism. Whereas the ego strives to survive, for the working mind survival just happens naturally. The thoughts and emotions that are necessary for its functioning are instantly acted upon, and then they disappear so they do not persist, there is no judging, fearing, worrying, or doubting, all of which would interfere with its functioning. The working mind uses whatever concepts are necessary for its functioning but in the absence of the thinking mind, there is no identification with them, so no pseudo-entities are formed.
Prior to this, it seems as though the ego is the owner of most thoughts, leading to the experiences of "my" desire, "my" aversion, "my" longing, "my" work, "my" body, "my" mind, etc., thus, the thinking mind, or ego, is usually thoroughly identified with its thoughts and self images, resulting in the emotions of desire, envy, frustration, guilt, anxiety, indecision, attachment, etc. After disidentification, the reactions to circumstances and the persistence of conditioning may result in some of the same thoughts and emotions occurring to the working mind, but they are never identified with, they are never judged, rejected, nurtured, resisted, or clung to; therefore they disappear immediately.
It must be realised that both the thinking mind and the working mind are instruments used in the functioning of Totality. There is nothing wrong or right, or good or bad, about either of them, they both just appear, and eventually they both just disappear. Initially, Consciousness functions through both of them, harmoniously through the working mind, and disharmoniously through the thinking mind. After the thinking mind disappears, Consciousness continues to function through the working mind. Since separation and doership are not concepts in the working mind, its functioning is always in harmonious accord with the Whole.
Best wishes and much Love,
Grotweed
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