To: K-list
Recieved: 2004/06/12 13:25
Subject: RE: [K-list] Hi, I'm new to the group - A few questions
From: Gustaf Grefberg
On 2004/06/12 13:25, Gustaf Grefberg posted thus to the K-list:
Dear Grotweed!
What a truly intense life you have gone through. I can't say that my own
experiences have been as intense and dramatic as those you describe, but
I've definitely had my share. And all the worries, all the fears about going
completely crazy and to not be able to manage life any more.. I've gone
through all that, too.
I would like to share my take on the expansion of energy, and why certain
things take place, not in detail, but more generally. I believe that most
experiences that we go through, are not the Kundalini in itself, but are
different aspects of ourselves, physical, mental, emotional, energetic,
spiritual. The Kundalini energy rises and integrates itself into all layers
and dimensions in our being. This can have numerous different kinds of
effects on us, depending on how quickly it happens, and depending on what
kind of different issues we have. There's a lot of talk about different
imbalances and blockages we can have, but also different karma, different
samskaras (seeds, or archetypes, that decide how we react to the world and
view it)
So what happens then when K rises? She wants to take us all the way up to
unite with God/Infinity/Shiva/Universe etc, any name we want to give it. K
desires absolutely nothing else. If it happens quickly, with a lot of stuff
in us in the way, she will try to clear them quickly.. Our physical bodies,
or minds, emotions and so on will have a very hard time adjusting to these
very, very intense changes, and they manifest as all these different
symptoms that appear to be different in every individual. Someone may have a
smooth, gentle and a bit slower ride, someone else may go through intense
pains and very difficult experiences. It takes time to find grounding in
such intense experiences. It may also help, even after K has caused a lot of
issues, to do hatha yoga practices. These can help to clear out blockages in
the body and return balance and functioning to it.
Have you had a chance to look at www.kundalini-teacher.com? If not, I would
warmly recommend it. I would also recommend "Kundalini Tantra" by Swami
Satyananda Saraswati.
If things are very, very intense, difficult and persistent, and if it
seems too hard to find your own guidance from within, it may be a good idea
to find an experienced guru or master at least for some time. But that's a
very discussed topic of preference!
If you ever feel you want to chat, or share. I will always listen! Welcome
to the K-List
With love
Gustaf
Hi everyone,
I'm new to the group, thanks for letting me be here.
I only found out about Kundalini a few years ago and realised that I had
been through many of the experiences/symptoms that are talked about. I
just lived these things in silence and never complained, and as doctors
are not regarded by me generally (for some reason) as very reliable or
knowledgeable people, I kept them all at bay and continued to live life
as best I could. The consolation I had was that I 'knew' that there was
some spiritual metamorphosis going on, I trusted my feeling, but
nevertheless I often thought that I was going mad and that the moments
of extreme despair or extreme ecstasy would eventually kill me.
There is one particular experience that I encountered which never seems
to have a mention anywhere and I would certainly like your advice on
this. It happened 10 years ago and lasted 2 months without
interruption. There was the most excruciating pain I have ever
experienced at the crown of my head. As I concentrated on the pain, I
could see a wide gash approximately 3½ cms deep (1½ inches) which
extended from the frontal lobe (forehead) to the occipital lobe (back of
head). As time progressed during the 2 months, I could feel the gash
healing and the pain, the stinging, the burning, and the pulling of the
tissue as if tightening and scarring. Thereafter, and to this day even
(although less so now), I feel movement in my head as if restructuring
is going on.
I have tried to find out about this experience and was told by someone
that J. Krishnamurti had excruciating pains in his head on a daily
basis. I do not know whether my experience is anything like his and I
have even asked the Krishnamurti Foundation for documentation on the
subject but they say they have none. Perhaps someone in this group
could explain this experience to me.
Another question - does the Kundalini necessarily cause a thyroid
disfunction (although not necessarily evident in blood tests)? I have
read somewhere that this is a symptom.
Another question - I no longer have an appetite and only normally eat
when I socialise (and I don't lose any weight), and food has become so
poisonous to my system these days because of all the chemicals that are
added or during cultivation; I am told that I stop breathing for up to 6
minutes; I often miss a night's sleep without any repercussions (my
biological clock no longer ties in with a 24 hour day); my body
temperature is low and has even reached low lows of 34ºC (normal body
temperature 37ºC; 35ºC is categorised as hypothermia); a doctor told me
once that my alfa is borderline normal/insanity and that I am in a
continuous meditative state (diagnosed during an EEG) - are these
natural processes of the Kundalini?
Last question - I often disrupt electrical appliances (one minute they
are working, another minute they aren't), light bulbs burst or burn out,
clocks slow down, stop or go backwards. A couple of years ago, I got
into someone's car and all the lights blew! I walk into the post office
and the lights start going on and off. I have even managed to burn
electrical wires whilst sending energy long distance - when I am careful
about sending energy, I tend to only blow fuses. I remember the day
before the 11th September, the electricity blew in my home so many times
and I started living the nightmare of that moment to come as if I was
actually there, 6 hours before it happened in fact. Is this a normal
process?
Any comments and explanations would be appreciated. Thank you.
I just had a browse at the archives section and I notice that some of
the members have fallen ill with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome
(CFS)/Fibromyalgia (Myalgic Encephomyelitis as it is called in the UK)
and I would like to mention my story on this.
Nearly 4 years ago now, I fell ill with CFS; I woke up one morning
having had no symptoms the previous day. I could hardly walk, I thought
I might have caught the most dreadful flu possible at first, but it
never went away. I was lucky enough to find a professor who is an
expert on the illness and he made all the relevant tests to confirm CFS,
my immune system had a NK cell (Natural Killer cell) count of 3%. 3
weeks before I fell ill, I remember that my body was feeling very
stressed; I had had expansions of consciousness on and off for the past
15 years and I had decided a couple of years before falling ill that I
would experiment to see whether I could induce these expansions of
consciousness in order to perhaps find a way of helping others on the
path. I think this might have had something to do with falling ill, I
had overdone it perhaps.
Anyway, for the first 2 months of the illness, I was in rather a panic.
I had always loved working and never envisaged a life without work. I
also panicked because my memory seemed to be deteriorating (my immediate
memory) and I wondered how I would ever be able to hold an intellectual
conversation with anyone ever again. And then, of course, there was the
financial side of things; how would I manage long term. All these
things crossed my mind until I finally said to myself, "well, there's no
point in worrying about it, what will be will be, I will just have to
adapt and see". And so I totally let go and accepted the situation as
it was. On doing this, I suddenly realised what had happened, there was
a definite change in me, I had become so open that it was hard to
believe. It was as if a spiritual atomic bomb had literally exploded
within which had blasted every door and window of my 'inner house', I
now seemed totally 'open'. There was a substantial change; no longer
was I
a hermit, no longer did I feel anti-social, no longer was I reserved.
And not only did this happen but I was also given more time (because I
was no longer able to work) to do the things I wanted to do, and that is
to try to help people walk the spiritual path that I have walked.
I have adapted to my present life and although I can no longer run, walk
fast or ride a bicycle, and I can't climb a mountain, I wouldn't have it
any other way because I would never want to be the 'old' me ever again.
Best wishes and much Love,
Grotweed
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