To: K-list
Recieved: 2004/06/12 11:49
Subject: [K-list] Hi, I'm new to the group - A few questions
From: Lone Path
On 2004/06/12 11:49, Lone Path posted thus to the K-list:
Hi everyone,
I´m new to the group, thanks for letting me be here.
I only found out about Kundalini a few years ago and realised that I had been through many of the experiences/symptoms that are talked about. I just lived these things in silence and never complained, and as doctors are not regarded by me generally (for some reason) as very reliable or knowledgeable people, I kept them all at bay and continued to live life as best I could. The consolation I had was that I ‘knew´ that there was some spiritual metamorphosis going on, I trusted my feeling, but nevertheless I often thought that I was going mad and that the moments of extreme despair or extreme ecstasy would eventually kill me.
There is one particular experience that I encountered which never seems to have a mention anywhere and I would certainly like your advice on this. It happened 10 years ago and lasted 2 months without interruption. There was the most excruciating pain I have ever experienced at the crown of my head. As I concentrated on the pain, I could see a wide gash approximately 3½ cms deep (1½ inches) which extended from the frontal lobe (forehead) to the occipital lobe (back of head). As time progressed during the 2 months, I could feel the gash healing and the pain, the stinging, the burning, and the pulling of the tissue as if tightening and scarring. Thereafter, and to this day even (although less so now), I feel movement in my head as if restructuring is going on.
I have tried to find out about this experience and was told by someone that J. Krishnamurti had excruciating pains in his head on a daily basis. I do not know whether my experience is anything like his and I have even asked the Krishnamurti Foundation for documentation on the subject but they say they have none. Perhaps someone in this group could explain this experience to me.
Another question – does the Kundalini necessarily cause a thyroid disfunction (although not necessarily evident in blood tests)? I have read somewhere that this is a symptom.
Another question – I no longer have an appetite and only normally eat when I socialise (and I don´t lose any weight), and food has become so poisonous to my system these days because of all the chemicals that are added or during cultivation; I am told that I stop breathing for up to 6 minutes; I often miss a night´s sleep without any repercussions (my biological clock no longer ties in with a 24 hour day); my body temperature is low and has even reached low lows of 34ºC (normal body temperature 37ºC; 35ºC is categorised as hypothermia); a doctor told me once that my alfa is borderline normal/insanity and that I am in a continuous meditative state (diagnosed during an EEG) – are these natural processes of the Kundalini?
Last question – I often disrupt electrical appliances (one minute they are working, another minute they aren´t), light bulbs burst or burn out, clocks slow down, stop or go backwards. A couple of years ago, I got into someone´s car and all the lights blew! I walk into the post office and the lights start going on and off. I have even managed to burn electrical wires whilst sending energy long distance – when I am careful about sending energy, I tend to only blow fuses. I remember the day before the 11th September, the electricity blew in my home so many times and I started living the nightmare of that moment to come as if I was actually there, 6 hours before it happened in fact. Is this a normal process?
Any comments and explanations would be appreciated. Thank you.
I just had a browse at the archives section and I notice that some of the members have fallen ill with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS)/Fibromyalgia (Myalgic Encephomyelitis as it is called in the UK) and I would like to mention my story on this.
Nearly 4 years ago now, I fell ill with CFS; I woke up one morning having had no symptoms the previous day. I could hardly walk, I thought I might have caught the most dreadful flu possible at first, but it never went away. I was lucky enough to find a professor who is an expert on the illness and he made all the relevant tests to confirm CFS, my immune system had a NK cell (Natural Killer cell) count of 3%. 3 weeks before I fell ill, I remember that my body was feeling very stressed; I had had expansions of consciousness on and off for the past 15 years and I had decided a couple of years before falling ill that I would experiment to see whether I could induce these expansions of consciousness in order to perhaps find a way of helping others on the path. I think this might have had something to do with falling ill, I had overdone it perhaps.
Anyway, for the first 2 months of the illness, I was in rather a panic. I had always loved working and never envisaged a life without work. I also panicked because my memory seemed to be deteriorating (my immediate memory) and I wondered how I would ever be able to hold an intellectual conversation with anyone ever again. And then, of course, there was the financial side of things; how would I manage long term. All these things crossed my mind until I finally said to myself, “well, there´s no point in worrying about it, what will be will be, I will just have to adapt and see’. And so I totally let go and accepted the situation as it was. On doing this, I suddenly realised what had happened, there was a definite change in me, I had become so open that it was hard to believe. It was as if a spiritual atomic bomb had literally exploded within which had blasted every door and window of my ‘inner house´, I now seemed totally ‘open´. There was a substantial change; no longer was I
a hermit, no longer did I feel anti-social, no longer was I reserved. And not only did this happen but I was also given more time (because I was no longer able to work) to do the things I wanted to do, and that is to try to help people walk the spiritual path that I have walked.
I have adapted to my present life and although I can no longer run, walk fast or ride a bicycle, and I can´t climb a mountain, I wouldn´t have it any other way because I would never want to be the ‘old´ me ever again.
Best wishes and much Love,
Grotweed
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