To: K-list
Recieved: 2004/03/30 16:51
Subject: Re: [K-list] Passive aggression, the Shadow, and the
From: Mystress Angelique Serpent
On 2004/03/30 16:51, Mystress Angelique Serpent posted thus to the K-list:
At 02:55 PM 29/03/2004, Sabrina Gould wrote:
>I've noticed that the cranky bitch has the same characteristics of the
>helpless victim - frustration, anger, a sense of helplessness and tension.
>It's interesting....I find my control drama has changed from perpetual 'poor
>me' to occasional 'poor me' and 'intimidator' mode. I know that my
>aggression is not healthy when my state of mind is that I HAVE to be a
>bitch, or the other person won't stop victimizing me. Same bs, different
>expression.
Exactly so, your understanding of this is wonderfully clear.
>. Assertive and aggressive are not
> > the same thing. Being appropriately assertive, and defining your
> > boundaries does not whack your power chakra like being inappropriately
> > aggressive will. Your discernment will improve with practice, and you will
> > find the middle path.
>
>Goodie!! The trick is staying grounded and mindful when I'm defining my
>boundaries to others. It's hard to keep my emotions from interfering
>sometimes.
Well, I think it may be because your boundaries are still weak. There
is still a lot of fear of being victimized, in the body. Intellectually
understanding that victimhood is illusion takes time to filter down into
the body reactions. Staying grounded really is the key. Cannot discern the
power chakra messages when you are afraid.
When in doubt, pause. Breathe. Choose some stock reaction like "That
does not feel right to me" to use when you are not certain whether your
feelings of being victimized are accurate, and postpone explaining until
you have had time to sort yourself out and get clear.
>Aw, thanks! *hugs* I"m not there yet....but your post showed up at the
>perfect time. I recently made a new friend who's very honest and assertive,
>and our communication dynamic is challenging and inspiring me to do the
>same.
Cool!
>I had the thought today that win/lose approaches to communication
>cause stress and conflict and power struggles.
Yes.
> I had to do some telephone
>negotiating with government officials, something I've had issues with for a
>long time. So I decided to go in to the conversation with a win/win attitude
>instead of seeing the other person on the end of the phone as my enemy, as
>someone I had to fight with to give me what I need. And it seemed to work
>much better!
Well, it would. Place yourself in their shoes, probably it is a
stressful job, a lot of people challenging them about policies they did not
create. Someone approaching them with politeness and positive energy would
be a relief and a gift... they would be more disposed to be generous with you.
>Your post gave me some more food for thought....and a major
>shakti rush!
Really? I had not thought of it as a Shakti charged topic, but I guess
it is...
I was showing the FST grounding video to a friend recently, and was
surprised to feel the waves of Shakti coming off it, very powerful. Usually
I do not feel my own Shakti-field, so getting a blast from my own vid was
neato.
http://www.fire-serpent.com/1grnd.html
>Resolving a lifetime of PA poor me is quite challenging.....but
>rewarding. And funny!
Great that you are maintaining your sense of humour around it!
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