To: K-list
Recieved: 2004/03/29 21:47
Subject: Re: [K-list]passive aggression
From: Mystress Angelique Serpent
On 2004/03/29 21:47, Mystress Angelique Serpent posted thus to the K-list:
At 04:12 AM 29/03/2004, Mia Friedrich wrote:
>Hi there Mystress,
>
>thanks for this incredible posting!!!!!!!!!
>I'm familiar and -normally - quite aware of passive aggressiveness, so what
>you wrote in your posting wasn't really " new" to me, but you have a way of
>getting things to the point and structure the essence which is just
>brilliant.
Awww, sweet! Thanks...
>I do believe everybody- unless completely enlightened - has passive
>aggressive behaviour structures. It's part of the ego, it's like ego itself.
>But not every person is using the passive aggression pattern to the same
>extent.
I think with enlightenment, it becomes conscious, like Gandhi. His
tactics against the British Empire really resemble the actions of a
stubborn child, with Queen of England as the frustrated mother. I think
this was conscious on his part, he probably modeled his tactics on those of
his children!
My observation is that the shadow never really disappears, with
enlightenment even if the ego becomes transparent. It simply takes a
different form. The thousand petaled lotus of the crown chakra opens
infinitely, as we integrate more and more of All that is. So, "that which
we think we are not" becomes an opportunity for expansion, instead of a
place of resistance.
>After all ..........there is open aggression too, right?
Which is preferable, because then issues are out in the open and can be
resolved.
>I found it's quite easy to let somebody define to what degree he or she is
>willing to express passive aggressive behavior.
>Just ask him or her how aggressive he/she is or can be.
>The more this person denies his own aggressive potential, the more passive
>aggressive his/her behavior will be........in a was HAS to be.........
LOL! Yes... exactly so. I used to be on another list, which has an
attachment to the practice of "amhisa." (Pacifist nonviolence.) I was not
the only one who suffered extreme verbal/emotional abuse when my posts were
misunderstood!
Violence and aggression are part of nature, intrinsic to the human
condition. It is part of my work, if it can be called such... that it is
better to own one's aggressive nature in order to be able to redirect it to
a more appropriate and positive outlet, than to repress and deny it, only
to have it come out sideways, unconscious... passive aggressive.
Even great pacifists, like Quakers.. they do no violence, but they pray
for the world to change to how they think it ought to be. Psychic
manipulation, black magic passive aggression!
>What amazed me to no end was that
>everybody without exception ( i didn't talk to you then, Mystress.;-)) could
>come up with past lives as victims and heroes, but nobody ever seem to have
>had a past live as a murderer, as a Nazi, as an aggressor.
>This made me think about identification and " being one" as a mystic and i
>just logically came to the conclusion: if i claim to be one with everything
>there is, i have to be one with the so called " evil" too, right?
Yup. Thus, I don't give much weight to the concept of past lives,
except as metaphorical parables of what is happening in the Now, drawn from
the collective consciousness. On the other hand, there are times when I
went fishing in the collective to adopt certain skills or talents which I
needed, in the Now.
It is an aspect of being a Shaman, that the shadow self actually takes
the form of a pretty harsh and sarcastic spiritual teacher. With
Kundalites, the shadow takes the subtler form of the mirror of perception,
to erode separation.
Mine (whom I dubbed "Armand") takes the form of Vlad Tempes, known as
Vlad the Impaler, a Romanian prince whom Dracula was based on. Before I
recognised the illusion of "past lives", it appeared I'd had him for a past
life! He is a historical figure notorious for dispensing harsh justice,
often executing people for minor crimes by impaling them slowly on sharp
sticks... but to the Romanians he is a hero because he kept the Turks out
of Romania, and during his reign there was peace and no crime.
>For my own spiritual development i felt it was /is important to detect this
>potential in myself and accept it the way i try to accept everything else.
I agree. I really think it is.
>The problem dealing with him - for me- is not that there might be some
>passive aggressive behaviour since i do assume we all have it, but his
>complete refusal to look at it.
Yup. You cannot tell a passive aggressive that they are one...
>He is a Buddhist and he claims that he meditated for years and years and at
>one point ALL motivation for aggression left him completely and now - even
>if he would want to- he cannot come up with ANY aggressive potential any
>longer and if somebody is unfriendly towards him, ALL he feels is "
>compassion"............
>Truth is he is very sarcastic, careless, forgetful and shows all the
>symptoms of passive aggressiveness as if he would be a comic strip figure
>created to demonstrate the principle.
Classic example of what I was talking about.
Your mom sounds a lot like mine.
>Sometimes when i happen to come over those self-help talk shows........Dr.
>Phil and his family reunions............ just getting to talk people with
>each other again and change some behaviours and all is fine..........
Heh, yeah I find that show kind of funny, of course people will be
compliant and agreeable when there are national cameras on them! I do
wonder how long the changes actually last, in private.
>i would say no. I forgive her, because she has no clue what she does. She is
>honestly and completely " innocent" . But that doesn't mean that i have to
>take it any longer and i see no chance whatsoever that she will ever change.
>She doesn't even acknowledge what she is doing.
Yeah, ditto. I forgive her because holding a grudge or resentment does
me no good, but I have also made it clear that some behavior is unacceptable.
>So what does this background and biography do to me and my own
>passive-aggressiveness? oh, i'm sure it's there...........*g*
>But because i detested this behaviour from early childhood on, i think i'm
>quite alert and not as blind as many ( i hope).
It does seem like really owning one's own aggression is a key to
getting past the shadowy passive aggression. It also seems to clear the
power chakra to the point where passive aggression in yourself and others
shows a clear signal.
>During the last years i'm constantly told how blunt and direct and straight
>forward i am, so i assume i'm on the right path..................LOLOL
I like directness, I find it refreshing and much easier to deal with. I
do observe that those who have the biggest issues with me being direct are
also most likely to be passive aggressive, themselves.
Thanks for posting, Mia!
DISCLAIMER!
Home | Archive Index | Search the archives | Subscribe
K. List FAQ | Kundalini FAQs | Signs and Symptoms | Awakening Experiences | K. list Polls | Member Essays | Meditations | List Topics | Art Gallery | Cybrary | Sitemap | Email the moderators.
symbol.