To: K-list
Recieved: 2004/03/22 21:35
Subject: [K-list] Thanks Jeffrey
From: Ola Pettersen
On 2004/03/22 21:35, Ola Pettersen posted thus to the K-list:
Hello everybody, I'm new on the list but have been lurking for some time.
First I must lift my hat off to Jeffrey, you are doing a terrific work with your different lists. I have also been reading some of your earlier posts, and do feel that you have a very valuable gift to give to us all. I recognise you as a true brother, and I bow to the light within you.
I want to share an experience with you all, something I experienced some years ago when my Kundalini went up the roof and I lived in a constant state of surprise and bewilderment.
I haven't figured out if Kundalini is a cause or an effect of my experience, but it was an integral part of it anyhow. I felt my heart open, and I could sense this Love entering my life. Love can be personal, and love can be impersonal. The peculiar thing is that I experienced both at the same time. It felt like a Zen riddle, it just baffled me.
An example: I looked at someone I just met, and I fell in love with that person instantly. In observing this, I withdrew my attention, turned my eyes and looked somewhere else, it happened to be at my violin. I fell in love with my violin. And I mean personally in love.
It was as if the transcendent love in my consciousness just didn't care about the object. It also seamed like it sometimes (often, always?) was triggered by external objects. Still, it wasn't as simple as all personal love is the expression of impersonal. It was personal and impersonal at The Same Time.
I guess I needed to integrate both aspects of love, the cosmic and the personal. It is a contradiction to have both, you know. A thing can't be both absolute and relative, logically.
To treat the person serving you a burger at McDonalds as a person serving you a burger at the same time you are raging with this interior intense personal love for that person is a challenge. I can also in retrospect understand the need for living as a monk or nun in order to better handle experiences like these when they occurs.
Now, I have had many years of involvement in spiritual development and thought I knew it all (most), and still this caught me by surprise. If I had someone to talk to that would have understood, it would have made all the difference. I guess I passed the test ok, but I didn't do it with flying colors. Spiritual people didn't have a clue, and "ordinary" people got scared when I talked about my imminent death, smiling. So I see the importance of a site like this, especially for anyone whose spiritual energies goes in to turbo mode without the necessary physical, spiritual or mental preparation.
I don't have this experience anymore. But I am ready for the next. Maybe.
O
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