To: K-list
Recieved: 2004/03/22 20:04
Subject: Re: [K-list] No Desire
From: Mystress
On 2004/03/22 20:04, Mystress posted thus to the K-list:
Hello, Rick:
You are right, I have not written much about this state on the
K-teacher site. It touch on it briefly in symptoms/apathy and elsewhere but
there is more to be said. With your consent, I'll add this post of yours, too.
At 10:40 AM 20/03/2004, Rick Mayweather wrote:
>Or specifically lack of desire i'm struggling to understand what's going
>on. It's very disorientating.
>
>What is desire anyway ? I can't define it adequately.
>
>I see a nice woman and feel nothing. No desire. She brushes past me and
>I feel little, this
>really concerns me but at the same time explains a lot of the issues in my
>life.
>
>I have no desire to go anywhere, no desire to do anything, even desire to
>seek is fading, it's
>the last straw. I just sit and meditate, nothing else matters. Every so
>often a spark of
>desire arises, I become conscious of it and it then vanishes.
>
>Buddha says desire and attachment are the cause of all suffering, so
>that's great, some
>self validation that i'm on the right path.
>
>Is desire replaced by Self connected to the Great Spirit, who guides us,
>or is this a false
>understanding. How can life function without desire ?
>
>Is "desire" and "sensual desire" the same thing ?
>
>Are there resources out there that can help me out here, or anyone ?
>
>I feel lost.
>
>BTW, perhaps this discussion / teaching on desire could be added to here
>eventually if it's of use.
>
>http://www.kundalini-teacher.com/
Desire can be sexual, or material or mental, emotional. It is a state
of wanting what you feel you don't have. Of dissatisfaction with what Is,
wanting to change the world or yourself. Often expressed by people saying
this like "I'll be happy when..." this or that event takes place. Believing
happiness, bliss, fulfillment is conditional on some future event is
*desire*, and the cause of suffering. "I'll be happy when..." is saying "I
choose to suffer and give power and energy to dissatisfaction until I get
my own way. "
The Buddha's description mostly relates to that: suffering comes from
wanting things to be different than they are, instead of being at peace
with what IS.
Desire is not all bad, for most folks it is what keeps them moving,
keeps people creating and inventing, a drive for evolution... but with
enlightenment, it changes. That phase you are in, I know can be a little
disconcerting because it is so different from how most people are... but it
is a wonderful, important and lovely place to be. A space between the
"Driven by desire and dissatisfaction" state of most of humanity, (fostered
by advertising that teaches your life will be better if you drive this kind
of car and buy that suit and drink this cola...) and the place of acting
freely in the moment, without thought.
Right now you are in this state of "abeyance", feels like life is on
hold, but as you mention, the state has purpose: remaining desires are
coming up to be easily and effortlessly surrendered. Goddess put you into
this state of neutrality to facilitate clearing your remaining karma
without resistance.
Gradually, probably without noticing, you are moving into a different
space of dealing with what is in front of you, living in the Now. No longer
motivated by wanting and dissatisfaction. Wanting, desire and
dissatisfaction tends to take us out of the moment. Mentally, we are not
present in the here and now, if our minds are occupied with what we want in
the future, or regrets of the past.
I like how Forrest's friend describes it "I don't feel any need to make
love, but often when I go to bed at night there's a friendly woman with me,
and we do what we like, and that's just fine." Not driven by need and
lust, but enjoying what Is, what is offered in the moment.
>Is desire replaced by Self connected to the Great Spirit, who guides us,
>or is this a false understanding. How can life function without desire ?
I think it is a pretty accurate understanding, except the reality is
often more mundane... and in a way, more miraculous.
Goddess is All, and with realization you see Her in All, and so the
"Spirit guidance" comes down to the simplicity of "dealing with what is in
front of you." It's all Goddess. Chop Goddess wood, carry Goddess water.
If Great Spirit wants you to be dealing with something, there is no
desire, no big search or quest... it will be laid at your feet through some
very ordinary, mundane yet synchronistic means. "How to deal" is usually
just kind of obvious. No brainer, no thinking required, "Right action" from
the Zen silent mind. "Knowing" what to do, without having to "think" what
to do.
The other thing, that Holly mentioned is that when you come out the
other side of this nothing space, "Dealing with what is in front of you"
becomes imbued with pure joy of living. An ecstatic love affair with All
that Is.
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