To: K-list
Recieved: 2004/03/22 03:19
Subject: Re: [K-list] No Desire
From: Rick Mayweather
On 2004/03/22 03:19, Rick Mayweather posted thus to the K-list:
Ron,
Have you read this before, i've read is several times now and find it helps.
Osho's experience of Enlightenment, goes into some description of desire.
http://www.realization.org/page/doc0/doc0015.html
>We are on the same wavelength again as we have many times in the past. We
>both I believe have been through long periods of the dark night of the soul
>but this somehow feels different.
I have just understood what D.N.O.T.S. actually is after several years of
misunderstanding !
It's about opening the heart !
Yes, this is different, it's like the end of seeking (as someone mentioned).
>Yes there is an emptiness in my life but a fullness right beside it. Yet
>no desire.
>I have gone to the extent to
>make lists of all the possible activities I could and should do.
I'm about to make the same list, but it's inner change I seek, and
meditation is the
most potent way to do that. External changes follow inner change afterall
so the
whole effort becomes useful but of little result.
>I choose
>the ones that interest me the most and pick a small task that would be the
>next step. Sometimes I am able to take a step but frequently I am lost and
>just go meditate
I cannot do much else, I am in turmoil. To stop meditating too for me
would be
pointless. Why get so far and then stop. I'd rather sit on the burning
coals
meditating than just doing something else. But the desire to seek has
reached
a peak, a crescendo, has come to the point of being dropped. Occasionally I
also reach these states of peace in-between the storm.
>sometimes fill the brain with noise of the TV, flick
>flick. It is like the dark night in that there is nothing worth while
>doing
>but doesn't contain the sense of depression.
I do feel deeply unhappy, but this does feel somehow different, but I cannot
put it into words. To me, people misunderstand depression in a way that is
dangerous. These states states of duality are necessary, but should not be
feared, merely accepted, that's all, accepted, not rejected but accepted.
They are natural, God's gift, accept all duality, reject none. All is of
use in
the great scheme of things.
There is much inner healing going on, but I feel that I have to pass through
this cleansing to reach a clear path.
I am in deep grief may be a better wording. I have become grief, it's
completely
consumed me. Grief or life, of seeking, of what I don't know.
>The have had, lately, great
>long states of contentment with whatever is happening but suddenly it steps
>into the lost desirelessness. I have somehow felt the ego is somehow
>connected and invalidating aspects of my life and removing an innate desire
>that may come naturally from deep inside me. The ego I know has lost the
>control to direct my life through senseless desires. I can easily identify
>an ego desire and simply ignore it - very freeing. Could it be that this
>desireless state is another attempt for the ego to gain control by
>cancelling instead of the normal addition? Just thinking out loud. I
>cannot simply stop mediation for a while. If I sit with nothing meditation
>takes over.
Meditation has become a way of life for me. I walk, I meditate, I eat, I
meditate.
>It is still the most pleasant thing to do - even sometimes
>clears the way for attention to something and activity starts again.
Yes, much deep inner clearing taking place.
>Please continue this thread, it is very important to get to the bottom of
>this. It has been with me months now.
>
>Thanks all,
>Ron
>
> >
> > BTW, perhaps this discussion / teaching on desire could be added to here
> > eventually if it's of use.
> >
> > http://www.kundalini-teacher.com/
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