To: K-list
Recieved: 2004/03/01 22:05
Subject: Re: [K-list] Grounding
From: Deepak Srinivasan
On 2004/03/01 22:05, Deepak Srinivasan posted thus to the K-list:
Thanks Hillary, im glad you liked my couplets.
i have some questions to all in the group.
i know that the neutral numbness is all one feels as
old patterns chasnge. But there needs to be this phase
that leads into eternal bliss, the satchitananda as
indian mystics have called it.
I started experiencing the oneness through analysis
and thought and it slowly seeped into my
subsconsciousness and then continued from being
totally involved in the illusion to steppin g aside..
i have been able to do this for a while but the crux
awakening incident was a love relationship occurrence
suddenly and then a break- up...which made me realise
was that i was living thru my higher chakras....and
had neglected the lower ones... even now, i tend to
mentalise the whole concept....but some part of my
being screams out to say that i have been neglecting
it...i think its my sexual being...dont quite know. I
still cringe from asking or giving physical touch,
something i attribute has flown in from some past life
experience, some vague hints of sexual power abuse
have occured to me, but i dont allow to feel it fully,
it scares me.
some past of the puzzle is missing, worries me.
when i try the grounding, i see and feel myself going
back to the pain in the relationship that i had felt
then, but later had completely understood wh i had
engaged in the pattern, and i thought i had let go.
do u think there's more to be resolved with this
relationship that may come up later? there's a fear i
face with trying to tackle it...but i also feel its me
trying to slip into the old chakra malfunction pattern
becoz i tALK to myself and make affirmations and the
feeling and the tightness in the heart area goes
away...
i guess my question is, with wisdom, and the way i
have been guiding myself and challenging my beliefs
and changing my perception, will i stabilize or do i
need to feel this residual emotion i think has been
frozen in time?
as i write all this, some things got clear, but i'm
going to leave all of what i said on anyways...
any inputs will be greatly be appreciated.
thanks all
Deepak
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