To: K-list
Recieved: 2004/02/29 16:34
Subject: [K-list] Back from the graves
From: Rich
On 2004/02/29 16:34, Rich posted thus to the K-list:
...of computer permanence
...or so it seems
I've come to know amplified headaches quite well.. Focussing for too long
leaving me in states of detachment from my own memories, my ability to think
or analyze and what's going on in the now. Very weird. All in desire to
finish.
Strange though, sometimes I've worked through tiredness and found a further
source of energy that kept me going in the small hours. At other times, my
body ached and could not continue. I'd want to collapse.
Do I love this? Fatigue.. No not really, but in the sake of trying to finish
something behind schedule I carried on. I think pain can go together with
pleasure. I see resisting pain is what makes it painful. Allowing it and
directing it away from within can be advantageous. Moving energy. Flush some
of the meridians or energy pathways perhaps.
Upon reflection, I came to know some of my 'chasing' behavior to complete
this (or reach an end). This came from where I used to compete to get the TV
remote control and the comfy seat first when I was a little nipper. Funny
how things run out of control - autopilot. This was the repeating routine
when coming home from school together with my bro.
So now I asked goddess to help. Hand it over and try to forget. I couldn't
handle the continual involvement well. I've been there before and the weight
is too much after too long. Last night I went out with adverts in hand.
Asked goddess to find me some people to do this with.
First stop I look at some stall and two Australian sounding people were
haggling the price of a product. One muttered almost on cue, I've been here
6 months I know I can get these cheaper. Bingo! It didn't hit me straight
away. Too surprised and nervous (I'm not a salesman by trade) to talk to him
and market myself.
I thought that would be it but asked for one more chance. Didn't think it
would happen until on the train home a teacher sat next to me who had lived
here 10 years. Struck up a conversation and on almost perfect timing handed
him my advert before he stood up to get off the train.
r
The fruits of my frustration and tiresome labor...
www.foneaway.net
thanks if you drop by :)
would love any feedback
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