To: K-list
Recieved: 2004/02/24 16:33
Subject: Re: [K-list] Mystress's meditation , head almost exploded
From: Deepak Srinivasan

yeah
the head exploding thing...actually felt something
like that was going to happen, when i posted
yesterday, where i was feeling like i was being
dragged back into my old patterns...liek something
my"evil" self was doing it...
Hillary's post on just lying still for a while helped
incredibly....and i think Bob wrote in with
support...it was incredible coz i was being so hard on
myself for falling back on my old patterns... i always
used to blame someone uutside and unraveling back and
back, used to land up within...there was a spilt coz i
felt that i have been abandoned by myself ultimately..
its was so storng that i used to expect and project
unconciously and concoiusly into many situations and
relationships...
and at times when i have wanted mysslf to hold
together completely, i have purposely fallen apart...
ao, there was a huge internal split...coming from
previous experiences, in my present life and maybe
past too....but the important thing is, to tell myself
that the split helped me learn stuff that i might not
have if i were smug in my shell...
anyways.. just sharing my thoughts in the middle of a
work day...got to rush...
by the ways, tis amazing how the regular work and
other unfinished businesses just happen when internal
blocks clear up...more so, the internal resistance to
go about one's work disappears...
D

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