To: K-list
Recieved: 2004/02/16 21:54
Subject: Re: Power chakras unfolding. (was Re: [K-list] maintaining ener
From: l p
On 2004/02/16 21:54, l p posted thus to the K-list:
MAS said "Truth hurts, no matter how gently it is expressed. If something is
not true, it cannot hurt. It is simply nonsensical, gets no reaction."
I don't believe that is true for everybody. For me (unless you say my blue
chinese hair is ugly. lol) an insult can hurt even if it's not true. I know
this is somethign I have to do some work on, BUT maybe there are others out
there who feel the same as me on this issue????
namaste
lori-ann
>From: Mystress Angelique Serpent <MystressATfire-serpent.com>
>To: K-listATkundalini-gateway.org
>Subject: Re: Power chakras unfolding. (was Re: [K-list] maintaining
>energy)
>Date: Mon, 16 Feb 2004 12:06:27 -0800
>
>
>At 05:53 PM 15/02/2004, Doug Fraser wrote:
>>well, thank you for this post - it triggered a realization (that I've
>>realized
>>several times, but I think once it gets triggered enough, it'll finally
>>sink in)
>>about some things... A useful post to be saved
>
> I am glad you enjoyed it. I am curious about the nature of your
>realization?
>
>>I don't want to get in the middle of this current mess,
>
> No worries, Morgan unsubbed shortly after I posted about how people who
>play the "Take my ball and go home" control drama on email lists, tend to
>hang around to see the reactions... ;) heh...
>
>>but I just wanted to note
>>there does seem to be some dynamic with you and people ascribing you with
>>a "guru" status -
>
> "Guru" is not a title I apply to myself. I have a title of sorts, not
>found in any dictionary... Mystress = Mistress + Mystic + Mystery coz I
>dunno what the heck I am... :)
>
> Some of the people who project the Guru label onto me, do so in order
>to deny that I qualify. It is kind of funny, really. I have never said I
>am a Guru, they say I am one, in order to complain that I'm a bad one... or
>not one at all.
>
> One difference between what I do, and what a Guru does, is the level of
>responsibility. It is part of the role of the Guru to take on the karma of
>devotees in order to process it within themselves. I think, by giving me
>Guru status, even if only to argue against it, they unconsciously feel free
>to project their karma onto me... often, using blame. Karma follows
>responsibility, blame is a way of projecting responsibility... projecting
>karmic stuff.
>
> Every action, is love or a cry for love.
>
>>read carefully, your messages are fairly neutral and explanatory
>>but it's interesting to be able to see how people could read more into
>>them
>
> Truth hurts, no matter how gently it is expressed. If something is not
>true, it cannot hurt. It is simply nonsensical, gets no reaction.
>
> For example, if I tell you that your blue hair looks stupid, or that I
>hate ugly Chinese people like you... it will bounce off, and not affect you
>because it is obviously untrue.
>
> (I'm assuming you are not a blue haired Chinese person! Fraser is a name
>of Scot ancestry? I don't hate Chinese people either, or find them ugly...
>it is just a random example. I actually like blue hair.)
>
> On the other hand, something that is true, especially if it is a
>painful truth that hits a nerve, pokes a button, triggers some karma,...
>it will often get a defensive, aggressive or hurt reaction... even if the
>feedback or information has been requested, and is expressed in a gentle or
>neutral way.
>
> Easier to work with someone if there is trust... because then they
>will recognise the emotional reaction as internal evidence of issues to be
>cleared, and accept it as food for growth, rather than going on the
>warpath. They will thank me for sharing my perceptions instead of attacking
>me for it.
>
> With email, too, yes... it is easier for people to ascribe emotions
>that are not there... the witness voice is actually calm and neutral.
>
> I tell people all kinds of terrible things about themselves in my phone
>sessions... like "I see this blockage, here. It is caused by this
>ineffective behavior pattern which you adopted at this time in your life,
>to compensate or deal with this situation, but what it actually does is
>give this result... can you see how that is unworkable?"
>
> Usually seeing the stuff in this way provokes giggles as people laugh
>at themselves and release. They can hear that there is no anger or
>accusation in my voice, the stuff just IS. We then surrender the blockage
>and the pattern, and move onto the next thing. What has been surrendered,
>might be an awful behavior that would trigger big guilt issues under other
>circumstances... but I'm not there to make moral judgments, the Witness
>does not judge, it just observes and informs, and offers other options.
>
> Most stuff, can be surrendered without needing to know what it is... it
>is just lint, dust blown up along the road of life. Just, "here is some
>stuff, I see a round greyish thing at the second chakra, Goddess take it
>thank you."
>
> With some stuff it is useful for the pattern to be consciously
>recognised, so the choice to change can also be conscious. There can be
>awareness: the spiritual imperative "Know thyself."
>
> Especially with control patterns formed in childhood, the inner child
>persona was well motivated to adopt the ineffective pattern, by
>safety/survival issues and will resist letting go unless it gets deeper
>understanding, and is presented with a more effective way to feel safe, or
>get the need met.
>
> Know thyself. Know what your patterns are... like what I wrote about
>recognizing the fluffy bunny/righteous sadistic vengeful victim pattern in
>myself, a decade ago. That woman is still inside me, the pattern reappears
>if my energy gets blocked or very low, and I am not getting my needs met...
>but she cannot be repressed again, or catch me unawares. Power chakra alarm
>goes off to stop me acting on it.
>
> For several years after that event, I went into extremes of the other
>polarity... always taking personal responsibility for anything that
>happened to me, no matter how painful. Focusing on "I attract that which
>occurs" and looking inward to see what pattern in myself manifested that
>event, absolutely refusing any hint of victimhood, or admitting injury.
>Determined not to fall back into the pattern of sadistic victimhood.
>
> After a few years of doing this, I noticed I was surrounded by some
>extremely abusive people! "What we resist, persists." Looking inward, the
>answer was imbalance. I had taken too much responsibility, responsibility
>for thier actions as well as my own. I never defended by boundaries or
>called people on their actions, so I was an abuser's perfect uncomplaining
>toy.
>
> Imagine me sitting still and silent in meditation pose with someone
>repeatedly hitting me over the head with a canoe paddle, and I'm bleeding
>all over thinking "What pattern within me has attracted this event, what do
>I need to clear from myself so it will stop?" Oblivious to the obvious
>option, of telling them "Stop hitting me with that damn canoe paddle, I did
>not ask for it, and it really hurts!" LOL!!
>
> As soon as I started respecting and defending my own boundaries, "Your
>behavior is disrespectful and abusive and I will not put up with it"... all
>the abusive people went away... Went off in search of a new toy... and in
>some cases, woke up and changed!
>
>>like I asked a simple enough question once (that had apparently already
>>been
>>discussed and dismissed way back in the past) and a few people barked at
>>me
>>in some e-mails (well, it seemed that way, e-mail is such a limited form
>>of
>>communication) about it and how I ought to be grateful I didn't get raking
>>over the coals from you for such a silly question (but I never got any
>>message in response anyways....)
>
> I looked for it in my archives and I don't know what question you
>mean.
> I get more email than I can really handle, these past two days I have
>been playing catchup, but I still have about 20 more posts to write... and
>even then, I have probably missed some.
>
> (which reminds me... the sunset picture was taken off the coast of BC,
>near Hardy Island.)
>
> In years past, there were some things... I was managing the list
>single handed, and it was more than a full time job, with so many seekers
>asking for help. I fell into bad burnout, and did not suffer fools gladly!
>
> I was really overwhelmed, and my patience wore thin. Silly things, like
>people asking to be unsubscribed by me instead of doing so themselves as
>the guidelines request, got flamed. Straw requests to break the back of an
>overloaded camel Mystress. Something like "Whattsa matter, your fingers
>broken? I'm not your slave, do it yourself ya lazy cow!" Heh.
>
> Finally, I thought to ask for help, and these days all the basic list
>management stuff is handled smoothy by our wonderful team of co-moderators:
>Hillary, Jason, Stephen, Susan... and members are encouraged to remind each
>other of the guidelines.
>
> I have recovered from burnout, I have patience again, but I still leave
>most of it to them. I only responded to Morgan's complaint because she sent
>it to me directly, rather than to the moderators address, and Hillary had
>already addressed the issue on the list... apparently, not to Morgan's
>satisfaction... but the post was really neutral. I thought of forwarding it
>here, as she had said she wanted to, but it is a dead issue.
>
>>but they were going to do it for you apparently
>
> Well... I have mixed feelings about that. The Witness is unconditional,
>feels nothing, appears bulletproof... but the human woman is empathically
>sensitive to an extreme of vulnerability.
>
> The gift is a double edged sword. Feeling other people's pain, getting
>their karma stuck in me, sometimes moved me to knock the issues out of
>them any way I could, so we could both feel better. Sometimes the
>reflection was pretty harsh, but I was thanked for it afterwards, more
>often than not... and some folks who did not thank me, were motivated to
>create alternative Kundalini forums, and I am grateful for that. I'm on
>good terms with most of the other listowners, nowadays.
>
> It is only 2 years ago, that I got a handle on it so the empathy became
>optional instead of automatic... what a relief!! I mostly put away my Zen
>cane.
>
> I think, as Laura said, most folks know I don't need protecting, but I
>think it is sweet that they care enough to want to. If they are using
>"Protecting my vulnerability" as an excuse to whack people... Well, I
>don't like that idea.
>
> I think more likely it is that they are doing as I asked... I requested
>for members to remind each other of the guidelines, and possibly they have
>more confidence doing so in my name... but as I don't know what your
>question was, I'm guessing.
>
>>ok, whatever...
>
> Hey, thanks for responding. If you want to resend the question, go
>ahead... and if anyone else asked me Kundalini-related question on the list
>that I missed responding to... the help desk is open for the next two
>days... then I'll have to shift my focus back to my other work. ADD brain,
>limited multitasking.
>
> Questions about the list management itself, are best sent to the
>moderators address. moderatorsATkundalini-gateway.org
>
>
>
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