To: K-list
Recieved: 2004/01/25 01:18
Subject: [K-list] I figured it out!
From: Morgan Kochel
On 2004/01/25 01:18, Morgan Kochel posted thus to the K-list:
Problem solved! :o) [insert happy, dancing Morgan]
I realized today that I carry a lot of mental crap around with me
mostly consisting of things that I "should" be doing, and this results
in a lot of compulsive cleaning and organizing without ever feeling
"done". Without going into it, let me just say that this is a bunch of
parental programming that I've been unable to let go of during my 40
years so far on the material plane.
As I was dragging myself through the house today, cleaning, organizing,
and basically compulsively staying busy like I typically do until
bedtime, I suddenly felt incredibly pissed at myself, plopped the pile
of papers and books down in the middle of the floor, and yelled, "F___
THIS!"
For those who lack unconscious compulsive parental pleasing behaviors,
this may sound a little odd. But to me, I felt like a Karmic Plumber
had just psychically reamed me out. (Sorry for the crude imagery, but
it's really the only way to describe this event.) Better yet, the
constant nausea I've been experiencing for the last week was GONE!
All day I've been playing with this a bit -- whenever I start doing or
thinking things that some conditioning tells me that I "should" do or
think, I start feeling sick again. But if I shift my focus to doing
something that the *moment* calls for, I feel fine!
Has anyone out there ever experienced this? This is completely weird!
Really Amazed,
Morgan
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