To: K-list
Recieved: 2004/01/18 20:15
Subject: Re: [K-list] Kundalini rises and then Stuck
From: Druout
On 2004/01/18 20:15, Druout posted thus to the K-list:
In a message dated 1/17/2004 9:14:51 AM Pacific Standard Time,
barbarawallace3ATcharter.net writes:
>Suddenly, everything changed and I believe it was a spontaneous kundalini
awakening. >These changes coincided with a 'back injury,' which I followed with
yoga to try to ease the >pain. <snip>
>...how does one be in the world and not of the world? And I wonder: have I
commited >something unpardonable? How to release the super glue.
Dear Sunny,
Welcome to the K-list! :))
Kundalini awakening as you have certainly experienced often results in
extreme life changes. You seem to have undergone a multifaceted awakening where
increased sensitivity can blow everything "out of proportion." It's not easy to
keep one foot in the ordinary world and one foot in the metaphysical world. I
think it's important, though, to keep from dwelling on the negative things
that have happened, such as the betrayal you experienced or the mistaken belief
you have committed something unpardonable. :))Everything that happens to us
seems to serve ultimately as a positive lesson. It seems to all work out in
the end.
I am increasingly finding that all the worlds ultimately blend together into
one in which one can function in in down-to-earth fashion but with clarity and
joy. At first, though, one is catapulted into an extraordinary metaphysical
world that seems quite different from what we are used to. In reality, I
feel, they are one and the same, but it is necessary to find the parallel
experience in the old world so as to get a proper grounding/balance and keep a proper
perspective. It is often simply a matter of time as one finds one's natural
footing.
I hope you will find support here which will carry you through this very
difficult time.
Love, Hillary
The next morning I awakened with complete memories of childhood events
dealing with trauma and soon I let everything go. All of it. <snip>
And I began to understand very advanced math and physics, without any
knowledge base. A children's book just came to me in my head one morning while
walking and another day, an absolute cosmic wink from the sky. Other days, very
special rocks and one is the same peculiar structure as the mountainous rock where
I grew up - a geologist told me. As I have read, I had so many things
indicative of kundalini rising and like math and physics, I did many hand mudras
without knowing what they were. <snip>
But at work, where I was applying this insight of shared leadership, as
another post described it seemed I was being attacked psychically. The more the
work improved, the stronger the attacks. Admittedly, I had a difficult time
explaining my actions and the more I tried, the crazier i seemed to them. <snip>
But I kept getting dreadful migraines and strange viruses and then an attack
at work, born of lies. And I resigned. I decided I could not work where people
did not practice integrity and I was so burnt out from the struggle. I had
the spinning sensation I have read about here; it lasted for weeks and weeks and
weeks. I was diagnosed with PTSD and I am sure I could have sued but I simply
did not want to perpetuate a negative energy exchange. And somehow I know in
the karmic reality, there were lessons here and I am responsible for my role
and inviting them. We are all connected.
Slowly, everything blissful faded. Synchronicity is rare. It followed all
these things mentioned and a betrayal of someone I care about very much. I have
tried very hard to undo this, and it seems much worse to commit wrongdoing in
full knowledge and enlightenment and I am hard on myself about this.
I feel stuck. My health has just returned and I am having great difficulty
reconnecting to the universe, to compassion, to finding employment to support
myself and my son. I want to take a leap of faith as before, but it seems I can
no longer let go. I feel like I have regressed and perhaps the love and
compssion i have known will never return. I am often 'homesick' and plan death but
how selfish, and it wouldn't bode well to repeat these lessons.
I have no friends. No guidance from humans. No job. Almost no insight as to
my path or personal journey. Any advice or guidance welcome. I think: how does
one be in the world and not of the world? And I wonder: have I commited
something unpardonable? How to release the super glue.
Too funny...when all this happened, I thought I was the only one and I
couldn't figure out what anything was...I really suspected lunacy.
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