To: K-list
Recieved: 2004/01/02 16:15
Subject: [K-list] Power
From: Juliettecrouch
On 2004/01/02 16:15, Juliettecrouch posted thus to the K-list:
Power is something that i have been stuggling with. The Goddess has taken
this oppurtinity to point this out to me. SO many of us fear our true power. Well
maybe power is the wrong word, i think what we truely fear is the connection
to ourselves. I know for me i have always done thing, whether subconcsiously
or not, to lessen my power. I have feared truely sitting in my power. recently
that power has been coming out in many different ways.
I have been privledged enough to experience many past lives in which i
misused my power, however i still am struggling to release the fear of misuse. I
know i only have good in my heart this time round and that those past
experiences were to ultimately teach me humility to the Goddesses will but i still have
the fear. The more i sit in it the more i fear what i could do with it. I am
practising healing which i always do for the highest good of all and i am
beginning to realize my divine potential, the same potential we all have. I have
seen what i am meant to be doing with my life and everytime i get a step closer
to it i seem to recoil back again.
I know this is all about the ability to surrender and trust but when you know
you've done wrong in the past surrender is the hardest thing. the more i
surrender the more vulnerable i become. I know ultimately vulnerablity is the goal
cause by being truely vulnerable we have strength to deal with anything. But
in this process i find that i am sharing too much with everyone
WHen that internal strength grows and flows it feels intoxicating and bliss
like. However i'm scared of it. I see who am truely and and who i was and that
knowledge has been making me appear slightly hard hearted. The other night
when out i felt this strength grow and ended up s]pushing away people who i
thought were close to me in a very cold manner. I cant tell if this was a good
thing or not. However the strength now shoots thru me the same way that K does. Is
this another form of it or not. This strength feels like i have gathered thre
whole of the earth and it raises up through me filling me with the essense of
the earth, the deep, dark, core energy. I think that might be part of the
reason i fear it. I have always tried to live in the clouds, scared of the
darkness of the earth. It wasnt until in started to ground myself that i had my
first K experience.
Sorry if this email is a bit jumbled not too sure what i'm trying to say but
i hope someone understands.
With light
Jules
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