To: K-list
Recieved: 2003/12/24 22:15
Subject: Re: [K-list] woe
From: Mystress Angelique Serpent
On 2003/12/24 22:15, Mystress Angelique Serpent posted thus to the K-list:
Hello, Deepak:
Reading your letter, I got the impression that your situation is not
wholly K-related. The way you describe your emotional rollercoaster
tendencies and impulsiveness causes me to wonder if you were like that,
before K. I see you beating yourself up for not being able to change your
patterns... have you ever considered that there might be some biochemical
pattern uerlying your behavior? Some of these patterns have been found to
be inherited... in the DNA you came in with.
Sometimes Kundalini can mimic a bipolar disorder, and sometimes
bipolar people become awakened... and Kundalini pushes on that, to motivate
you to seek help.
I just see you judging yourself for being unable to change by
willpower or spiritual force... perhaps the change is meant to be through
other, more conventional means. If the cause of the behavior truly has
nothing to do with will or grace, but is actually about how your brain is
wired, then getting some medical help might be healthy for your self
esteem. You can let go of beating yourself up for not living up to your
own unrealistic expectations, and instead, get support in learning to love
and accept how you really are... and support in helping you to better cope
with the disadvantages, and find the gifts.
I observe that people often won't make a major change until they hit
bottom and get fed up... and sometimes Goddess pushes people to that place
sooner, to make them get more creative about their options. Your attempts
to change yourself have been ineffective, and demoralizing. You know you
keep going where you re headed, but ending up at the same place as you were
before... moving in circles. An orbit of highs and lows, and the lows
getting lower each time... pushing you in a different direction from the
stuff you already know, and know doesn't work for you.
Perhaps looking for change in a different place from resolve and
spiritual hopes... discovering if the qualities you dislike about yourself
might be part of some medical condition.that can be treated ... is the
change you are being pushed towards.
.. I'm not a psychiatrist, but this is what I see in you...
At 04:48 PM 21/12/03, Deepak Srinivasan wrote:
>i try self- inquiry, try to maintain my sense of self
>and always try to see how i could be responsible for
>creating the situation. I feels empowering, but i cant
>seem to change the patterns i seem to have set....
>I dont know why i go thru these periods of self hate
>and loathing....if only i could clear that....
>im totally disillusioned...i have written a lot of
>times before too...always with similar queries, got
>answers at times but mostly didnt.
>Please someone guide me...i wait with an open mind.
To get a reminder of your password or adjust your subscription, visit:
http://www.kundalini-gateway.org/mailman/listinfo/k-list_kundalini-gateway.org
DISCLAIMER!
Home | Archive Index | Search the archives | Subscribe
K. List FAQ | Kundalini FAQs | Signs and Symptoms | Awakening Experiences | K. list Polls | Member Essays | Meditations | List Topics | Art Gallery | Cybrary | Sitemap | Email the moderators.
symbol.