To: K-list
Recieved: 2003/12/16 22:51
Subject: Re: [K-list] Re: K-list Digest, Vol 6, Issue 20
From: ccadden
On 2003/12/16 22:51, ccadden posted thus to the K-list:
----- Original Message -----
From: "j g" <conversationsandpearls AT_NOSPAM yahoo.com>
To: <K-list AT_NOSPAM kundalini-gateway.org>
Sent: Tuesday, December 16, 2003 12:12 PM
Subject: [K-list] Re: K-list Digest, Vol 6, Issue 20
> **please remember to delete most of email you are responding to, before
posting your comments to the list.**
>
> why is clearing so painfull and angry?
ejection of the negative so that one can get that clarity. that, or the red
side of kundalini. Mystress spoke of how there is an angry serpent and a
calmer one. other answers to your question are out there, I'm sure.
seems like
> every time i experiance clearing through kundalini it
> is always foribly, and cosses loss of sleep. my tongue
> clicks around in my mouth all night, my reality turns
> mean and violent. there was one amazing moment though,
> only lasted a few secounds-i somehow caught a glimse
> into how my reality tunnels have been-it was like
> looking into a sphear that made up the definations of
> the worlds i've wondered-they were all connected,
> seems like they were all worlds of expectation.
> Expectation seems to be the controlling factor,
> weither trying to streer, or trying to let go. i end
> up coming across something-say a negative paranoid
> feeling related to control, .......
>...and i don't know how to let it go..
neither did i, and i still don't even though it magically happened. letting
it go was the most insanely impossible advice i could hear, yet everyone
said it, as if it was so simple for them. i pushed it outwards with the K, i
prayed, i did all sorts of wizardry, and it would not leave. how does one
simply, 'let it go?' what if it won't go? well mine did just recently and
there is no way i could summarize how for you. it sounds as though yours
makes you suffer. i see the vision of someone young who is weighted as if
he's 30 years older. you would be a very light and gentle spirit if this
thing weren't trying to crush you. i would enjoy hearing anyone telling you
how do you, simply, let it go??
that little feeling will bloom up in my
> life until it has wore its self out-either the fear
> fades away or the light of understanding is eventually
> shone.
>
> all this negativitiy is mirrored with occasional
> moments of what feels like spiritual confidence, the
> feeling of my soul secure, rather than confused and
> excited. i wonder why my recent experiances have been
> polarized like this. a negitive, painfull experiance
> that facilitates clearing, and the a positive healing
> experiance to relax into. anyone have any clues to why
> things are so left and right? there's no intergration,
> no middle line. i guess my experiances where always
> like this-before reaching my potiential, or at least,
> most elevated moment, i had to scour through the
> trenches of my most depressed state. and then to
> simply fall from such a beautifull place... :/ makes
> me wonder what the next phase will be?
I view this as, again, those two flames of kundalini. The red one obviously
is stronger with you, causing the negativity. But when you can balance it
out with the icy flame, you get these moments of beauty and clarity. There
is some fundamental imbalance in you, however, something that makes it so
that you can never maintain equilibrium. One thing I've convinced myself of
that helps is that this is life, this is passion, the angst and the dread
are as sacred as the love, and, with practice one can learn to love that
angst and dread, and when this happens, the the negativity dissolves. Takes
a lot of practice. Loving the rage. It's like an angel unioning with a
demon; that balance and clarity you enjoy is the result. But perhaps none of
this helps you at all, so, hey, I'm outtie. It was exactly the same with me,
though, I can assure. It was not a happy time when I fell from the beautiful
place, which I thought would last forever. How powerful are your softer
passions? Your ability to love and feel empathy for others? Strengthening
them will help defeat those nastier ones.
i guess i'm
> still in my head, we're waking up the mind to a better
> memory-huh-maybe due to the left and right
> hemisphears, and due to my experiances currently
> waking up my mind in different ways-clearing out old
> beliefs and thoughts-maybe things just seem very left
> and right? makes sence i guess. :/ the mind! that's
> what it is!! that's why! but its all in the mind? so i
> suppose-if things seem really rough for you mentally,
> stop thinking so much and just love the body?
> lofe
all last night, i was repeating---stop thinking so much, stop thinking so
much, stop thinking so much. the K will do it all for you.
christopher
cadden
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