To: K-list
Recieved: 2003/12/09 17:19
Subject: Re: [K-list] New to list
From: Martin Kerr
On 2003/12/09 17:19, Martin Kerr posted thus to the K-list:
Hi DD
welcome...
couple of things....
1... you're new here, and you come here with such a heavy story of physical and mental burden,
this is a saddening tale, yet *You* have come *Here*... with *These* symptoms.....
so, i suppose to myself that you are thinking that within K' or whatever one calls it, that there
is perhaps something to heal the pain you suffer ?
... this i think is an important thought, for it implies to me that you have a hunch that all this might
be under your control [ but not in your doctors' dismissive "all in your head" meaning ] ....
there is a vast difference between having a cold because one is depressed
and KNOWING that your have control of your body to heal the cold AND the depression.
2... i think you should be watchful of our resident Revolutionary Dr. Bozzi's drug salesman pitch
there is nothing worse for awareness of the control we have over our bodies than
to muffle the sensations... now, please, i'm not saying that if you are crippled with
pain that you should suffer when there is a paracetamol up on the shelf, no....
... it also flies in the face of the fact of my point 1. above ... YOU have come HERE.... not to the chemist.
so, what to do....
well, matter of factly, i suffer similar pains and symptoms... but by your description, never to this
extent.... can we clarify that .... you say very specifically that you are "sick all the time..."
but this may mean to you something different to me.... by sick all the time do you mean
"vomiting from morning until night...." ..? i doubt that....
or do you mean
"it seems like i feel ill at least once a month" ? ..... this seems unlikely, in the other direction....
you see, i'm just trying to get a handle of the actual chronology, rather than your projection....
i'm not trying to undermine your suffering.
you also imply by ommission that you are a single parent.... again i don't ask confirmation
of this to undermine your suffering.... but to get a background..... if you are a single parent
was the situation leading to this style of living a sad one?
i.e. would you entertain the thought that it could easily have had some negative effect upon
your emotional ... leading to physical well being.
again, i re-assure that i am not laying fault with the situation, i am learning to understand
the arena from where you speak...
you are obviously depressed [ in some form ] ... it would be crass of me to think that all this
would not make you feel in some way depressed... yet in you, you seem to be at a loss
to it all....
let me tell you now, i often lie in bed .... also unable to sleep..... for hours.... and yes, eventually
i will get round to "things that i wish were, that aren't" ... it's entertaining to think on these things
for a while... the MIND likes to think, gives it a feeling of self-satisfaction.....
... but then, the starkness of the ego steps in and starts to feel unworthy, depressed, helpless...
all of these things...
aaaaaahhhh, what a black-hole of despair i lie in.
what can you do to become whole again?
.... realise that you are in control.... realise that you are whole.... who the heck told
you you weren't ??? the doctors? you? me? .....
or that ego we all nurture and hold inside.... says to me "Oi you, you are not what you
wanted yourself to be, therefore you are seperate from your desires, you are in conflict"
... argghhh... and i go off and cry.
where is the stem. the stem is in our desires.
look first to what your mind has lost. for that is where you loose your mind.
if i go on a skiing holiday, and there is no snow.... i will only get depressed if i still believe
i desire a skiing holiday.... if i release that desire then all the things that i can do are made
blisful rather than being "not what i was here to do...."
once you gain control of your self, you can then look to K ( or whatever you call it )
as your method to cleanse the physical self..... or at least, let its fire flow and warm
your heart....
i don't know if that makes sense to you, i hope some of it does...
... this is not some solution to your problem, i am looking at the tip of it, and even
then i can only look from where i stand, not you.
but i will happily go into it further.
alas i think all i have written above is enough for anyone to have to read in one sitting :-)
may good health be with you, and your family.
within love and peace,
martin.
----- Original Message -----
From: "DD" <designindreams2000 AT_NOSPAM yahoo.com>
To get a reminder of your password or adjust your subscription, visit:
http://www.kundalini-gateway.org/mailman/listinfo/k-list_kundalini-gateway.org
DISCLAIMER!
Home | Archive Index | Search the archives | Subscribe
K. List FAQ | Kundalini FAQs | Signs and Symptoms | Awakening Experiences | K. list Polls | Member Essays | Meditations | List Topics | Art Gallery | Cybrary | Sitemap | Email the moderators.
symbol.