To: K-list
Recieved: 2003/11/18 06:24
Subject: Re: [K-list] Forward from Marisa/Guys post
From: Druout
On 2003/11/18 06:24, Druout posted thus to the K-list:
Forward from Marisa: VioletRayofLove AT_NOSPAM aol.com
*******************
everything you wrote touched me greatly,,and had alot of ahaa's...i grew up
with total fear ...i blocked most of my child hood out,,then when i had to go
within i would not wish it on my worst enemy,,,for it was soo painful,,with
people dropping around you like flies,,which makes the process even harder,,,i
would at night talk to jesus and ask him to come down to hold me or i would go
up in a bubble,,or he would come down also in a bubble,,and hold me and rock me
to sleep..and tell me it was o.k...he was real...they were not..i understood
having those experieces since i was 5,,and continued until about 11,,then i
become many masks for love...i was the pleaser..although nobody noticed but for
the time it worked...i always searched for that love that came to me all those
years so i would ask to have it after i was about 18...still abused in a
differtent way now,,,always trying to please my husband thru alot of sexuall
behavior that wounded me even deeper,,although i became more colder and started
differtent behaviors of trying to control some aspect of my life...after i had my
first child..at 24 years of age...thats when the kudalini started...my right
leg became numb,,in the beginning,,,pains everywhere..but eachday in specific
places,,like my hands would heat up really hot,,then i had heart pulpatations
the next day,,literally my heart would stop..then beat again..then my arms
would have pain shooting in them...then electrical bolts running thru my
spine..jolting out,,making way to my head then went down my face and then it burst out
of the top of my head,,then my spirit was being pulled out of my body and it
was all i could do but to lay back down,,,oh i went to doctors,,my doctor said
my lung my have collapsed and needed to take xrays,,,by that time i knew my
lung did not collasp.i figured i was dieing of some rare electrical diseses,,i
even thought there was aliens doing things to me,,,see i was meditating and
learning but never came across the kundalini materiel,,,to make a long story
seemingly short,,,my systoms came on with a huge power this summer...i live in
lasvegas and the heat nearly killed me..i am a single mom with 2 kids and would
stay in the car to pick up arielle and would have panic attacks just driving
for fear i would pass out..i am glad to read all these posts,,i feel like you
all know,,and it makes me feel much better,,and i try to go with the flow and
the inner work ,,just when you think,,ahhh think..i mean FEEL the healing and
transmutation into love another truth presents itself to transform yourself
again.....i do not know alot about computers,,and my computer is old..and i do
not know even if i am sending this the right way,,,all my love and light to all
of you.....marisa
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