To: K-list
Recieved: 2003/11/11 19:01
Subject: Re: Void and Self. Re: [K-list] Picture and Question
From: Mystress Angelique Serpent
On 2003/11/11 19:01, Mystress Angelique Serpent posted thus to the K-list:
Thank you for responding, Holly! Always a delight to read your posts.
At 07:28 AM 11/11/03, Hbarrett47 AT_NOSPAM aol.com wrote:
>Angelique -- your post made me happy! I think you and your healer are onto
>something. I've been reading about how stress, and subsequent cortisol
>release, has an effect on metabolism (fat in particular).
Interesting. Not sure it applies to me, as I'm not particularly angry
about anything. Occasionally I get to thinking of some abuses I experienced
as a child, and get bent out of shape, but it doesn't last... really it
bores me, old news, nothing to be done about it.
I was talking to an old friend a while ago, I have known him for about
10 years, we used to swap massages. I was saying how I have been very
active since we bought this house, spending much less time at this desk. I
feel toned, yet the activity has not caused weight loss. Muscle burns
fat... that is why I got the wieder crossbow weight training machine, which
I love! Makes me feel all tingly after I use it... when I remember to use
it, which is not often. Not in the habit, yet.
He mentioned that I feel less toned under his fingers than I used to,
and spoke of a layer of musculature that is responsible for balance. I
used to do yoga spontaneously, and often... that requires balance, so does
strolling around in 6" stilletto heeled boots, swinging a whip! Perhaps
that is part of the mysterious connection between my domina retirement and
my gradual weight gain... loss of balance muscles. It did not make sense
before, because the activity was not exactly aerobic... Honestly, I prefer
a mundane explanation, to a spiritual one.
The diet is working, validating the healer's diagnosis of "congestion."
I've lost about 1/2 lb per day.
> At a deeper level, I am
>sort of getting that it is a profound moment when a k-awakened human turns
>around and addresses the health of her body in a committed way -- whether
>it is weight, health problems or whatever.
Yeah, maybe... I came across a quote recently, don't remember the
author or details. Someone asked a Guru what he thought about the "new age"
trend toward personal development, self improvement. The Guru responded
that self improvement is a good thing, best to do it before you become
enlightened, because afterwards you won't care.
I can certainly relate to that idea, when all is perfection, there is
nothing to change... but at the same time, my body is my instrument of
manifestation, incarnation and caring for it is no different than the
Master tuning his sitar, weeding the Zen garden.
Christianity calls vanity a sin, but I think some vanity is
healthy. It means taking care of yourself. The strict Christian aesthetic
produced unwashed smelly hermits with malnourished bodies, unkempt beards
and matted hair. Disrespect, neglect of the body.
On a somewhat related note... a few weeks ago I joined Tamra's K-list
because it seemed time to address Glenn Morris' various unkind comments
about this list and me. I only sent three posts, Glenn responded to only
one...
Glenn wrote:
>I could care less. However my ex thought you were a bit off track and
>knowing your students on the list I'm not fully convinced that they have
>that humility thang down pat.
They are humble before Shakti, Goddess within themselves, and have none
before... including me! I like to turn them over to the inner Guru as soon
as they can hear it clearly, so they are independent of me. As Gandhi
said, "The still, small voice within, is the only tyrant I will accept."
I do not train or require them to be doormats, ass kissers, or hide the
light under a bucket. I'm more in favor of the attitude espoused by the
"course in miracles" quote:
>It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
>We ask ourselves, "Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and
>fabulous?"
>Actually who are you not to be?
>You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world.
>There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't
>feel insecure around you.
>We were born to manifest the glory of God that is within us.
>It is not just in some of us; it's in everyone.
>And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people
>permission to do the same. >>>
Not sure what sort of humility you expected... I cannot imagine you
want people to suck up to you. I am brilliant, gorgeous, talented and
fabulous... because that is how Goddess shaped me... and humble. ;) >>>
end quote
> And, though I don't fully understand it, I
>feel it is precisely the encounter with the void that makes this possible.
>For me, it feels like the "being done" as ego-driven human, followed by the
>release of need to do anything but surrender (including releasing just
>doing what everybody wants you to because you have no agenda), leads to a
>focus on the incarnation itself. What the incarnation wants. So in this
>context, all the
>symptoms are holding information about what is next for the
>incarnation. There
>will ALWAYS be something next.
Yeah, we never stop growing... I thought I was doing what the
incarnation wants, till the healer pointed out a certain emptiness where
there is room for larger fulfillment. A little restlessness mixed in with
the larger field of bliss, happiness, contentment.
My plan for the future involved writing books, lecture tours and
workshops, yet I seemed to be stalled, blocked on completion. A little
scared of being so visible... She pointed out that empathy with the
multitudes would eat me alive...
Filming the FST videos, tuning into all those who would see them in the
future with my empathy, as I usually did for writing, meant I could barely
speak, nearly drowning in a flood of amitra flowing down my throat. We
edited out the coughing fits where I was choking on it. I have coughing
fits from amitra in my empathic healing sessions sometimes, too.
So, perhaps this turning inward and becoming ever more centered in
myself, will prepare for that accomplishment... but it is equally possible
that it will lead to abandoning those goals and doing something entirely
different. I'm open to whatever.
>This probably isn't very clear because it isn't very clear to me, except
>intuitively. What I feel is that eating, sleeping, putting on clothes IS the
>spiritual path right now because we have to maintain the incarnation in
>the best
>possible way.
I think I understand you, and I agree. Zen mindfulness. Chop wood,
carry water basic maintenance... all is spiritual.
> I think we're like those lava tubes deep under the sea that
>sustained the origins of life from within the earth. What will come
>through us is
>anybody's guess.
wow, what a lovely metaphor! :) Thank you.
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