To: K-list
Recieved: 2003/11/09 16:31
Subject: weight (was Re: [K-list] Heat
From: Mystress
On 2003/11/09 16:31, Mystress posted thus to the K-list:
At 10:43 AM 29/10/03, Hbarrett47 AT_NOSPAM aol.com wrote:
>This happened to me, too -- 130 to 155 in about 3 years. I thought it was
>age at first (I'll be 56 in 2 weeks) and I, too, took it as a major
>confrontation to my identification with the body and to my vanity. Lots
>and lots of work to come to some acceptance because most of my life I've
>been thin and used be a dancer, always active, etc.
Yes, indeed.
> Always suspected there was more to the picture, though, because of other
> nagging physical complaints.
Me too. Aching joints, especially the knees. I've only ever had that
before, when I got mildew poisoning from sailing trips. I have never had
cellulite before, which I know is toxic fat. My bust size has gone from 32D
to 38DD and it is affecting my posture. I'm not obese, but I'm bigger than
ever before... wanna see?
http://www.fire-serpent.org/data/Dcp01087%20copy.jpg
> Now the weight is finally coming off with a low-fat, mostly vegetarian
> diet. Not sure why now because I was eating well before. Maybe k
> changes the way we process food.
Maybe. I've gone on a "no sugar no grains no dairy, no caffiene, whey
protein drink for breakfast" diet. Eating three meals a day instead of my
usual 1 1/2 Dairy turned out to be an addiction... did not know how much I
was consuming, till I stopped. Strange though, I'm used to listening to
what the body wants, and telling it "no" is... like an inner war is going on.
I think for me, part of the picture is some post traumatic stress fear
around empathy, that grew on me gradually. I have been through the wringer
with it a few times, even once carrying one of a MPD person's "alter"
personas for 8 months before realizing where the wayward emotional chaos
was coming from. Been close to a nervous breakdown/borderline psychosis
from carrying other folks stuff that I could not release, a few times. The
fear slowed the processing, which in turn affected my liver.
The positive, is that this is motivating me to make some changes that
are long overdue. It was interesting, I kept saying the empathy was
automatic, and the healer wasn't buying it, "you are way more conscious
than that..." She is right. It is taking a bit of discipline to stay inward
instead of merging, but really... I was counselling friends from the advice
of the heart voice, when I was 16 years old! I have been able to see energy
for about that long, too.
Letting go of empathy work means I can let go of some bits of
separation of the personal self from the Goddess Self that I kept around
because it was useful to have something to surrender TO.
I'm getting back into some silly beauty queen type stuff I let go when I
retired from my previous career. Wild hair colour, long sculptured nails
(sea green metallic, whoo hoo!) tinted eyelashes, stuff like that has
become fun again now that it is for my own amusement instead of a
requirement of the bitch-goddess image. Silly, frivolous, fun!
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