To: K-list
Recieved: 2003/11/05 14:46
Subject: Re: [K-list] Trying again...
From: contour5
On 2003/11/05 14:46, contour5 posted thus to the K-list:
One Man Alone wrote:
> If anyone still remembers me
Of course...You lit the place up pretty good for a while, there...
I felt your pain. Maybe that sounds like cheese, but I did.
> I'm still quite angry at the world
Is this useful? Do you benefit from this emotion? I'm not dissin' you
here- but anger is a cheap high- the PCP of emotions. What goes up...
> literally going insane.
I've been there, also.
> I still have OCD a little
Meditation can be really useful for overcoming compulsive thought
patterns. A simple concentration/observation exercise might be all you
need to permanently eliminate recurring, phobic patterns. Much less
toxic than pharmaceuticals...plus, there are spiritual benefits...
> (metaphorically)little angel on my shoulder reminded
> me that I wouldn't get very far with such nonsense.
If you listen closely, the little angel will tell you that such action
is wrong...this would be your conscience...the voice of God, if you
like. Meditation will cause this "voice" to become louder, more distinct...
> I'd go out, hit some people, break some windows, then
> I'd get arrested in a very lame manner.
Fear has its uses. Self preservation is one of the four basic impulses...
> screaming, growling, panting, and very angry.
Heh. Reminds me of those family dinners when I was a kid...
Sometimes a really violent, intense physical workout can serve as
a substitute for flipping out. Run as fast as you can until you collapse.
Chop wood til your arms are about to fall off. Ride a bike at full speed
until your lungs are about to burst. Any physical activity you can
engage in to the point of exhaustion, will be useful. You may then find
a fresh outlook available...it beats going into a useless rage...
> time, going to church every Sunday, I was constantly
> reminded of my obligation to my God that I must be the
> best I can be for the sake of His glory and my debt to
> Jesus Christ. Every time I'm in church, I hold back
> tears of pain, for how much I let Him down. I remember
> His love and that He just wants the best for me, so I
> knew I had to become a better person than I was.
This is beautiful! Why hold the tears back? They release toxins...
Jesus was never angry...except on behalf of his Father.
> Through all this time, I ignored my
> K for the sake of being clear.
Hmmm...ok., but the energy has important things to teach...lessons
ignored may be repeated with increasing intensity to the point of a
major, painful God-smack.
I would like to apologize to everyone on
> the list that I've ever annoyed, upset, or offended
Absolutely unnecessary. But go ahead anyway, if you want to...
I believe I'm a better human than I use to
> be, constantly gaining more to offer to my fellow man.
Excellent! The positive outlook is refreshing, like sliced radishes
after a plate full of brutally hot tacos...
> but it was those kinds of quiet, calm
> moments
Heh. Meditation. The secret room, where thoughts can be examined,
one by one, as they arise. It sounds like you may already have begun
to discover this naturally.
> some advice on how to restart practicing with K in a
> positive way, to avoid going crazy and seeing phantoms
> in my windows.
There are no guarantees of a smooth path, but your sincere intent will
go a long way in keeping you safe. I recommend the Mystress' site or,
maybe for a more nuts and bolts approach, have a look here:
http://swamij.com/kundalini-awakening-1.htm
Swami J's site is notable for its clarity, comprehensiveness and
apparent authenticity. Seems genuine to me, anyway. "Nobody is ever
asked to be a follower, to change their culture, or to convert from
their religion. One of the higher forms of the teaching is to encourage
and train people to find the teacher within." I think his introduction
to basic meditation is excellent.
>
> I'm alone.
Nah. Or yeah(heh), but nah. Our bodies and minds can lock themselves
away, but you're never really alone. If you're working from the Jesus
paradigm- He's always there for you. Just reach out and take his hand!
From another perspective- We're all ONE. It's never really lonely in here!
> I deserve to be alone.
Shtop it NOW! Heh...give up this addiction to misery! Be still and KNOW!
Remember that there are others more unfortunate than yourself; be
grateful for what you've got. So, maybe the snobby crowd doesn't want to
hang out with you, you can't knock over the hottest babe in town- So
WHAT! There are other people who could really use your help. Many of
them will offer GENUINE friendship in return. These kinds of
relationships are usually far more rewarding than the ego driven mind
games of the fast lane...
> I will die alone.
Of course. We all die alone, even in a crowded room full of sobbing
relatives. Can't take 'em with you, can ya? They're just after the money
anyway... whoa, now I gotta apologize...maybe...nope.
>
So, that's my response. I give it to you as a gift, in the hope that you
may benefit from it. If not, take no offense, these are just my
opinions. __________________________________
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