To: K-list
Recieved: 2003/10/29 17:42
Subject: Re: [K-list] Heat
From: Mystress Angelique Serpent
On 2003/10/29 17:42, Mystress Angelique Serpent posted thus to the K-list:
At 02:31 PM 27/10/03, hbrost wrote:
Dear Angelique and All,
>Personally, at age 47, I found that I was imagining the menopause effect, as
>I call it, as early as age 36. So I agree. Don't think I'm anywhere near
>where I should be feeling as intense heat, especially when it rises from my
>left foot and burns, sometimes, intensely in my leg. Exploding colors too.
>As I write this even, I'm feeling that familiar throbbing sensation in my
>left foot.
Not sure I follow this: "near where I should be feeling" ... you think
there is not enough heat? Not menopausal? I don't follow...
Left foot BTW is classic K symptom.
I have a "should" button, whenever I hear/see the word I see someone
judging that they need to be different than they are. "should" is a
guilt-word... and then you go talking about perfection... I'm confused!!
>However, I don't believe it's karma burning anything. As I've said before,
>how can perfect beings (for we all are -- in time) carry anything but
>perfection? Please answer this question! Not that I would change my
>feeling about karma -- aka guilt -- but to learn why people believe there
><should> be guilt or karma. Same thing, no?
I have explained my thoughts about karma so many times, I got bored and
put it all on websites! Still, lets see if I can find new words...
All living creatures, eat and excrete. Mentally ill children sometimes
become very afraid to go to the bathroom, because they think that everytime
they do they are loosing some essential part of themselves! Gone forever,
flushed! They are attached to their feces, and do not want to let go.
Yet, constipation means there is less room to take in more
nourishment... the digestion does not flow. It must flow, or you are dead.
If the poop gets really hard, compacted it does not flow either. Hold in
your poo, you will get all bloated and die of toxins and starvation.
That is what karma is. Crap we get attached to because we think it is
an essential part of ourselves. Karma is constipation, emotional energy
that has become frozen, compacted, all bunged up. Fears, attachments,
limiting beliefs, emotional baggage. The more there is, the less the
nourishment of life energy can flow. Kundalini is the laxative.
Living things, eating and excreting is Nature, Goddess designed the
process. Perfect cycle of life, manure fertilizes the flowers and feeds the
bugs that feed the birds, etc. It is the ecosystem, perfection. The flow
life energy from mouth to anus, to some other mouth, is just Life in process.
Trees and flowers and puppies do not have an ego to get concerned about
letting go of autumn leaves, dead petals and digested puppy chow. That
particular mental disorder is uniquely human... and that human ego fear
based constipation is karma.
I can hear someone thinking ,"ugh, what a gross analogy." Ego judgment.
Dogs think poo is fascinating.
> And, if you think about it,
>what is karma but guilt but judgement? Who's to judge what karma is? If
>it's the Judge and God/dess, well than that certainly answers the question?
>How could the Judge create us to fail? Or, for that matter, create us to
>SET us up to fail? ;^) S/he wouldn't. It wouldn't. We just are.
>Experiencing.
Goddess does not judge... but She gave us free will, and we use it to
judge and get attached and make guilt and all that stuff that blocks the
flow of life moving through us. She does not judge us for choosing karmic
constipation... but offers a mercy of Kundalini the ultimate laxative, if
we ask.
>Just like, Angelique, you love yourself when you're a perfect
>bitch just like when you're a perfect angel.
Heh. Yup. I judge anyhow. I used to be 125 lbs, now I am 165 and
getting jowly, growing an extra chin and some wrinkles. I'm trying to make
peace with the process of change... I have good days and bad days with it.
I was working with some of my old pix recently... I look so lovely in
some of them, where did she go? Why? What happened? I have aged 10 years in
the last three... and friends tell me, what else to expect when age 40 is
on the horizon? ...but I don't buy it. Something is out of balance.
My MD tells me, sometimes people gain weight because they are happy.
Heh, I am happier and more fulfilled than at any other time in my life...
perhaps she is right... but I'm happier, thin.
I got a massage from a healer last Sept. She found my liver to be
toxic. That happens to healers, it is what kills off even great enlightened
ones like Ramana.
I had a session with a wonderful healer yesterday. She agreed that my
weight gain is not age or normal. She diagnosed it as "congestion" and has
prescribed a change of diet and a bigger change of attitude. A shift I had
been making already, letting go of empathic healing. Teaching people to
heal themselves instead of processing the stuff within myself.
Usually I create tantric unity with my clients, and feeling their stuff
in my own body gives me info... the shift is to remain sovereign within
myself, and let the Heart tell me what my clients need. Kind of challenging
to make the shift... my empathy follows my attention, so there is a
requirement for even greater discipline in keeping my attention inward.
> And why am I so obstinate about the karma thing?
I can relate... it made no sense to me for a while either, looking for
perfection and working as ... professional laxative... heh. Wanting to be
free of judgment, yet teaching requires judgment, or at least, discernment.
The difference, is one of chakra dimensions. In the dimensional
universes of the upper chakras, all is one, harm, pain is illusion, etc...
but here in the physical, if I whack you with an axe and tell you harm is
illusion... ?
>RKShankar said something very interesting the other day.
RKShankar is very interesting, glad he is here with us.
> He said to go deeply into the dream state to find answers. Th night
> before I had a conversation deep into a dream state with a person who
> said to go deep into a dream state to find the answers. What those
> answers are, I don't know.
If you knew, you would not seek. (why do I always find things in the
last place I look? Because when you find what you seek, you stop looking.)
>Perhaps I shouldn't look so deeply or question so hard.
There is that "should" again...
> As a human being,
>seeking answers that come via an awakened state and through third eye
>visions, to me, is so difficult.
Try self hypnosis! Very handy, with K. Your deep unconscious is unified
with the Divine, the collective... and knows everything, gives dreams.
> We are limited in the translation because
>perhaps, there is no translation.
Sometimes...
>So how do we interpret the heat, or the
>snakes or the red or the blue?
Any way you want! :)
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