To: K-list
Recieved: 2003/10/01 20:55
Subject: [K-list] Fear is fear. Part two. :)
From: elargonauto
On 2003/10/01 20:55, elargonauto posted thus to the K-list:
*Maybe a little late to return back to this. I gained benefit from this
*discussion. I kept coming back to a few things mentioned below...
Let´s see. This is going to take sometime. :).
> * I think, what Elargonauto is saying, is to allow the fearful
> thoughts
> *to rise, acknowledge them instead of trying to deny or repress them. Real
> *courage is not fearlessness, it is being afraid and acting anyway.
*Rita made the distinction which I noticed also about anxiety and
*uncontrollable / overwhelming fear (or terror). It seemed like when
*Elargonauto and I were talking about fear before, our idea of what fear
*meant was different. Obviously this is true, but this is valuable. If
either
*or both or us seeing different then either or both of us are not clear in
*fear.
I think there is a big difference. I am so used to see it from my
perspective that I couldn´t understand it. Now I think I can. Usually "fear"
is sinonomous of "ignorance, irrational". So when someone is influenced by
his fears or carried by his fears he is influenced/carried by ignorance.
Here is where I desagree. I see fear just as another part of
yourselve who tries to help you. That´s all.
This idea came clear to my mind reading a book. It was about a group
of white wolves who magically induced fear on their victims, they freeze
them and later killed them. Until Jhon Stark came. :). He had been educated
by a primitive tribe and had developed a natural relation with fear. Fear
had been his ally whenever he had to go to caves and hunt dangerous animals.
Whenever he was at a border situation he used to feel all his body full in
fear helping him as all his instintcs sharpened to the top. When he
encountered this wolves fear doesn´t have effect on him, because fear is his
ally, he doesn´t make any resistance to it, it just flows through and over
him. He kill the king of the wolves. One of his thoughts is "The end of fear
is dead".
For example. "Someone sees a lot of TV. And when he goes out to the
street he is scared verytime he sees someone with strange look. One day, one
of this guys ask him the hour. He look at him tembling and tell him the
hour."
This person could be said that "was influenced by his fears". His
fears made him see "another reality". A reality where this guy was dangerous
where he wasn´t. So it could be said that he was erroneous. But in fact that
is not the truth. The truth is that he sees a lot of TV and have growth a
great quantity of fear. But why? Because he is always seeing all kind of
awful things and he logically conclude that the world is a dangerous place.
Here the problem is not his fear but that his is "deluded" by the
information he has got.
He has made his mind with the information he have at hand. If all
your friends tell you that the streets are full of cold head hunters who are
just waiting for you. Would you go out to the street full of tranquility?
Would you try to fight the fear that comes whenever you go outside or will
you respectfully listen to it and won´t go outside until you are just
starving?
*Caring about fears
*is feeding them energy to grow, thus making them more effecting.
I thought like this, but I have come to the conclusion that the only
way is to understand it. But you have to be very careful because
understanding itself can´t be forced, or you go into another set of
problems. :).
*My take on this is a little different. I like to deal with things. My fear
*is something to be overcome. I don't care much about anxiety but panic is
*something I wish to find a better behaviour towards. Going crazy is not me.
*A clear detached response seems preferable. Sometimes it can be like this
*and other times I am overcome by the fear. That is when it is hard, to
*re-center, re-ground and surrender. I am going into resistance.
The idea is always the same. Fear is an ally. We have been told to
fight it, that is bad. That´s false. That´s precesly why he is not working
as it should because it has been fighted along the years and has become
stucked.
*For example, I have found sometimes when I have to talk in front of an
*audience and my energy is depleted and maybe I have many things on my mind
*then my body shakes and trembles. I want to run away and not exist. This is
*my body reacting. Even when I acknowledge it and breath deeply from navel
*and empty my thoughts, it still doesn't go away.
*Strangely, sometimes once I get started with any kind of speech or
*discussion often my fear vanishes and it's not unusual for me to fully
enjoy
*the experience.
Speaking to a lot of people produce insecurity, no? You have to
face a lot of people etc .. Your body tells you to be cautious, to don´t do
it until you have a good reason to ... later on you enjoy the experience,
but there are certain risks in speaking in public.
Anyway there are certain things you don´t want to do and you have
to do them. You do them. The problem is when you are no boligated to do them
and you do it the same ... masochism? or conquering your fears? I think it
is masoquism.
As Chuang Tze said "easy is right".
> For example, this person has been a POW and have remained three years
> underground. Now, he feel sick and vulnerable at open space. Everytime he
> thinks about going to open space he feel uneasy He has fear of something
> of
> wich he shouldn´t but there is a reason for it. His body is not "liying
> him", his body and feelings are perfectly allright. They just advice him
> not
> to do something that "makes him feel bad". His body is telling him to not
> go
> to open space becouse he is going to "feel sick".
*If his body is sick and he thinks this is fine then this is fine for him.
If
*his body reacts and he resists to this then it may not be fine for him.
I think it is clear it is not allright to him. He would like to swim
free of fear with the other children. But he has this fear deep inside of
him.
*If he thinks he cannot undo his craziness then this way it will be for him.
*But what if he has belief in the idea he can clear this scar?
I agree that 99.9% of the system umbalance of people can be cleared.
As I have experienced the homeostasis of the body is incredible. The problem
is that we think that some parts of ourselves are "bad" and have to be
represed and that is the fastest way to stuck any growth fear.
> So, the problem is not his feelings or the fear. The problem is that
> he
> has been three years underground and it will take him a long time till he
> get used to open space.
*What I don't follow is are you saying 'time' is the only thing which will
*allow this person to get used to open spaces? This would be subjective, for
*what does 'get used to' mean?
From time to time I think it is a good idea to have a look to a
book of "Biology". There you take a grasp to how absolutely complex and
perfect is the human body. Every cell of the human body is making thousands
of reactions per second! Every cell! The genes are copied trillions of times
and without errors!
So it´s not waiting alone, is waiting for a machine far more
complex than any military device ends his work of resolving and clear that
umbalance. That is the real meaning of being yourselve, being completely
backed by this military inteligence. :).
If this person behaves naturally he will remain under cover until
he start feeling secure about going outside. That´s all.
> This is what I was speaking about. I admit there can be some people
> where the fears have no reason. But I think 99.9% of them can be explained
> knowing about the life of this person.
*Do you know how your particular fears came into play? I find fear complex
in
*the way I try to understand a tree with as many branches.
Yep.
a) fear of tension and disrupting sensations -- I didn´t
understood why I suffered from increased and increased disruptive sensations
b) fear of fear -- I was scared of the growing feelings of
fear.
(This is secondary anyway, because It wouldn´t have existed
without the first one)
And this fear doesn´t stop until you understand this two
things ...
a) tension and disruptive feelings come when you
"struggle" with life insted "let go" with the flow.
b) fear is your ally and is doing all that he can to help
you.
( By the way it can be aplied to all your feelings and
organ, they just do all that they can to help the whole).
*I must have been writing on this for hours. It's changed many times.
Getting
*insights as I write and introspect. Some things resolving as I do.
*Strangely and perhaps fitting... A story to end...
Yep. I has helped me too to start making the final peace with
myself. As ingnorance fades away I can again feel confident about me and my
body and my feelings. :). To become friends again.
*A few days ago before I left my home land again, I was having a final
dinner
*with my family. It was during desert, that I found myself at the receiving
*end of a misplaced passion fruit seed. It had been inhaled rather than
*swallowed.
I don´t understand this. What is a "passion fruit seed"?
Chao!
elargonauto.
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