To: K-list
Recieved: 2003/09/25 19:25
Subject: [K-list] Irrational fears? Or there is a cause ... ?
From: elargonauto
On 2003/09/25 19:25, elargonauto posted thus to the K-list:
Rich wrote:
>Yeah! I'm all for listening to body, but not sure about listening to my
>fears.... Sounds too scary!
>
>My heart once told me to stop being afraid of being afraid...
MAS wrote ...
* I think, what Elargonauto is saying, is to allow the fearful thoughts
*to rise, acknowledge them instead of trying to deny or repress them. Real
*courage is not fearlessness, it is being afraid and acting anyway.
Yep. But I wanted to tell too that there is a meaning in the fears.
That it´s not a part of yourselve that is errouneous, that have a cause to
be like that. I´ll try to explain this ... :).
Someone can have "fear" of open spaces. Each time he thinks about
going to open space he feels sick. The first thought is to think that this
is irrational. Why should he fear open spaces? There is no danger there.
But at least in my experience there are good reasons behind this fears.
For example, this person has been a POW and have remained three years
underground. Now, he feel sick and vulnerable at open space. Everytime he
thinks about going to open space he feel uneasy He has fear of something of
wich he shouldn´t but there is a reason for it. His body is not "liying
him", his body and feelings are perfectly allright. They just advice him not
to do something that "makes him feel bad". His body is telling him to not go
to open space becouse he is going to "feel sick".
So, the problem is not his feelings or the fear. The problem is that he
has been three years underground and it will take him a long time till he
get used to open space.
When people thinks about this kind of fears ( "irrational fears")
they can think they are erroneous, that there is a part of themselves who is
not going well. This aproach make the people untrust themselves, their
fellings, their body because they think is not working allright. So they
loose confidence in themselves and start doing all kind of "right" things
( Usually fighting their fears and untrusting their feelings). Who only get
them further away from their center.
* I have a fear of heights, and I like to challenge it, for the rush.
*Gradually, it is fading. It is quite specific, I'm OK with heights as long
*as I can see solid ground under my feet. Fire escapes, with the metal web
*risers I can see through, spook me. Totally illogical.
This is what I was speaking about. I admit there can be some people
where the fears have no reason. But I think 99.9% of them can be explained
knowing about the life of this person.
A good example for it are sensible children. They can "get fear" of
something easily. Throw him to the swimming pool and is probable that he
won´t swim in the rest of his life. Everytime he goes near a swimming pool
he will remenber this experience and will feel bad. It could be that at his
school he is obligated to swim with other children. And verytime he does it
he have to go through a bad experience. After some years, it could be that
verytime he thinks about swimming he feels bad. Aparently it is illogical,
but in reality there is a cause behind it. His body is advising him that
swimming is going to be a bad experience for him.
* Near Hells Gate, where the mighty Fraser river rushes through a
*narrow, deep gorge, there is an old, high bridge left over from pioneer
*days. The bridge is intact, except the decking surface has been removed,
*leaving only a sturdy, rusted honeycomb steel grill like a fire escape.
Anyway, crossing this I wouldn´t froze but I wouldn´t feel
confortable either. :).
* As a teenager, my family visited the Sundance canyon in Yoho national
*park, to picnic and see the waterfall. My younger brother and I decided to
*climb the cliff. I was following a goat trail, a narrow path winding up the
*cliff, with the rocky water fall below me. At one place, two feet of the
*trail was washed out, and there were no handholds to anchor to. I stopped
*for several minutes, contemplating how to safely make it across, looking at
*the rocks and water far below... and when I decided to move again, I found
*I could not. While I had been thinking of how to do it, my body had become
*paralysed with fear. Took me a few minutes, to relax my body one muscle at
*a time so I could retrace my steps and find another path up.
It could be this experience were stored at your memory. So
everytime you go near a visible height ( like the bridge) you get signals
from your body that this is going to be a bad experience and it tries to
keep you away from it.
Chao!
elargonauto.
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