To: K-list
Recieved: 2003/09/22 20:16
Subject: [K-list] FEAR
From: Rich
On 2003/09/22 20:16, Rich posted thus to the K-list:
>
> *The thing about fear is that it controls 'us' to a lesser or greater
> extent.
> *We don't have the choice, unless, the fear has been 'conquered' or
> detached
> *from.
>
> I don´t see the problem. If I´m at a dangerous situation of course
> there will be fear in the ambient and I´ll feel fear. It will help me to
> be
> more alert.
Perhaps. I think of a time when I was caught in an unexpected rip current
late in the day when darkness was falling, being quickly drawn into a very
turbulent stream of mixed water currents. The swell was more than 6 foot.
Swimming to the shoreline (not against the current) had no effect and I was
out of my depth. Not only did I fear for myself but also a close friend who
I had led into the water with me. We both failed to see the rip current.
Fear in this situation made me panic and become shorter on breath. Remaining
calm and absent of fear no doubt I would have handled the situation better.
I used to fear heights and would find myself when close to a steep drop, the
fear made me feel as if I was going to go over regardless of my attempt to
control myself. This is what I mean by fear controlling 'us'.
To me, fear is the body going on auto-pilot regardless of logic. I do not
see it so much as instinct. Perhaps in one footing if there was no held
trauma then such situations would not come about.
>
> <Listening to the fear is giving it more power. Feeding it so it becomes
> us,
> <instead of a re-action out of a held to past trauma. All fear is fear of
> the
> <future. A projection of imagination and/or unprocessed memory. Once the
> <event is happening the fear is gone.
>
> I don´t see fear a something negative. What I see negative is
> "resisting" it. Because doing so you only "repress" and put it in the
> subconscious instead of releasing it.
Yeah... I agree to this, however, I wonder how many people faced with death,
could accept it fearlessly. For example if someone woke up and found them
self with severe chest pain and a lack of pulse could they say 'oh well only
about a minute to go now'.
It's these overriding or overwhelming fears which throw us into hysterical
states and cannot be easily controlled which I try to understand and reflect
on. Some of it just seems 'too' much. To try and resolve or go into this
stuff deeply does not usually work for me. I've tried and ended up worse
than where I was before. Other times, like my fear of heights I got through
it, by resolving the trauma. That wasn't hard.
But I don't know another way. I know it can be resolved but do I just build
up momentum until I can eat the whole lot with risk of blowing a fuse or
two, whilst my body shakes and I'm barely conscious of what I'm actually
doing anymore. Or is there another easier way? Some of this stuff is buried
so far and deep it seems endless and futile. However, if I don't clear it,
or at least my association with it, then it will always be there.
> Fear have a plasticity. When it
> works
> well, the fear comes as fast as it goes. It´s like a child, he can be
> frightened and some minutes later he is not anymore. When we "fight"
> against
> it, it slowly lose that plasticity and then it starts storing in the
> system
> blocking it.
Yes. But ever seen a bullied child?
> <Someone said recently that all fear is rooted in death. Further someone
> said
> <all fear is fear of letting go. I agree to both.
>
> When you let go, you don´t offer a resistance to fear nor you
> "conquer" it.
Right. Swim with it. :)
>
> <To me it feels like there is a 'fear centre'. The closer I live to this,
> the
> <more fearful I am in everything I do. More fears come up and poke me. I
> am
> <less in control. Re-acting instead of acting. If I am filled within and
> <grounded then these fears are not there (at least I don't notice them).
> They
> <don't come to me. If I could dissolve this fear centre today I would. But
> <all I have learnt tells me it takes time.
>
> I think you think is good without fear and bad with fear. But the
> fact is that fear is basic for living. If fear disappeared it would be
> like
> pain disapering, you would be like dumb, smashing your head from one place
> to another.
Yes. I see this. There is fear and response to fear. They seem almost the
same and conscious response seems weaker if the fear is strong.
I see a victim hood when I am writing about this. Quite interesting. I think
there is a sense of that in my own fears. But some situation I seem to be
controlled more by fear than conscious will. This I would like to get better
at to where I can be undisturbed in any situation.
> I agree that ego death means come to terms with death. But at he
> same time I don´t think there is too much change. You stop being an
> impediment for yourself, but if you are near a bear you will feel fear the
> same.
Fear seems to invite attack.
I heard in ancient times, some conquered their enemies by loving them where
others would fear them. In Thailand mythology this is said to be.
I love to play with dogs sometimes and emote fear and love. Funny how they
respond.
> <I used to think that fear and love were opposites. In me they exist
> together
> <but I don't believe if I conquer fear then I conquer love. It is an
> unknown
> <if this is based in duality. I think love is outside of duality. Maybe
> fear
> <is the basis of duality itself. And there is the real dichotomy.
>
>
> It could be the basis for duality is the desire of
> "manipulation"
> of one men over others.
And I thought it was only the women!
Rich
PS Before anyone complains at me.... I not serious in that last remark. Love
ya!
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